Why?

 Today is typical of what I live with!

Mr. B is out of town helping a neighbor. And I slept late, as Saturdays are good for! 

Upon waking up I thought it would be nice for me to order a pizza, it's just me and Dee so I could get by with one pizza. Money is funny so I have to consider that. (One day when I sell my books, I won't have to worry about that anymore! But for now, I thought I won't have to cook all day!)

Dee's door was closed so I was winging it without talking about it. I thought it would be a nice surprise since she loves peperoni pizza! So, I ordered it. If it had been just me, I would have gone for a burger, but I was thinking I would do the pizza for us.

As I was getting ready to leave, here she came out of her room asking me to buy her a pack of cigs.

I smiled huge and said, "I ordered a pizza!" 

Immediately she said, "I don't want that." I guess she loves to be a downer.  Always negative. So, I said, "It's OK, I can give it to the grandkids or the dogs." She said she had already eaten. She said I should have asked first. OK, I should have but her door was shut and that means she doesn't want to be disturbed. However, I suppose I should have knocked. I always seem to do the wrong thing.  This happens a lot. I do something and they complain, it's not right somehow, too cold or too hot, to spicy, not spicy enough, wrong color, or wrong idea. I am used to it, and I can say now I have no confidence and don't want to do anything for anyone since I always do it wrong.

This is why I LOVE to come in here and talk about GOD. That is one thing I can do right as the Lord is with me and I get lots of LOVE from people because of it! (Thank U GOD for that!) 

Negative people are so depressing.

So, what do you think happened when I brought in the pizza?

Before I could even get a bite, here she comes with a plate, which she loads up!

This happens quite often. I do something that I think is good but then some people find reason for it to be bad, yet... they are on 'that shit' as soon as it comes available.

Why do people do that?

I believe this is a result of someone finding GOD and they talk about it for a minute, yet they don't go and do their own research on it! See, if she had read the New Testament which is the message of GOD given to man for good works, she would know not to be negative, as GOD teaches US to be humble and grateful.

When I was a kid, we were told "eat what's put before you and let it stop your mouth." In other words, shut up and eat what I give you. And we did, or we would be stripped naked and beat. I got that a lot as a kid. I learned to be grateful that way.

So, I am guessing that these people who are selfish and self-centered are easily able to talk down to a good idea. They say, Nope, terrible idea, but I 'will' reap the benefits of it. 

UGH.

What a wrong way of looking at things. 

This is why I LOVE GOD, because HE gives us millions of years' worth of knowledge, if only we care enough to look for it. There is so much in the world that can lead us to the wrong path. This is why we have the Bible. It's a history book of lessons learned the knowledge of 'Oh don't do that!' You'll regret it if you do! A warning even!

If we don't seek the knowledge, it leaves us ignorant.

I mean sometimes GOD does smack you in the face with knowledge of truth when we refuse to see to right path. Or sometimes GOD gives us a quiet hurrah of the soul when we see truth through the eyes of the spirit. It's wonderful! And it's personable! A real blessing!

Before I go, I want to thank GOD for Ms. H. Her being there gives me time to come in here.  But all is quiet today as Dee's brother is back in the hospital with the flu. I tell ya, it's easier and less expensive to be spiritual phone support. HAHAHA I am phone support for both of them! Hey, I'm good with that! lol

Oh, and as a side note, my atheist leaning granddaughter has finally gotten the idea of the 'GOD is good' idea. I asked her, "Would you rather live in a house where there are people hating and fighting with each other, lying to and tearing each other apart? Or would you rather live in a house full of people loving and caring about each other, who struggle to make other people's lives better, happier and easier?"  HA! She got it! That's the difference between heaven and hell! GOD creates GOOD thoughts and feelings, and the devil creates bad thoughts and feelings! And GOD IS all who has ever lived and breathed. That little spark of energy that we get when our heart starts beating and that we lose when our heart stops beating, is an entity all in itself and returns to all the others when set free to go. 

Praise GOD! Thank U Jesus!

GOD Bless US, Everyone! IJCNA

The Mattress Miracle

 I am so overwhelmed with the spirit, I had to come straight away after the phone call. 

I love it when GOD shows HIMSELF so plainly to see, and you know it when you see it! 

So much in my head I hardly know where to begin! So, I shall start here where I left off in the last blog. As it is so much of a story, I have to tell it right away! 

My prayers are being answered!

Not my 'dream prayer' of selling my books and going on a book tour, but this is more of a for other people type prayer. I would have never known from the beginning; this story would unfold! And aren't you glad you're reading it here where you'll get the whole story and not some half story?

You know I was exhausted and feeling low for not being able to have a life, so here comes GOD in a big way and brings together my old friend of 29 years Ms H and Dee's brother. We tried to tell her that he was an asshole and she replied, "Well I'm a bitch, so!" Both of these people are hard as nails, and I wouldn't tangle with either of them. They both have come through hard alcohol/drug party life. 

All I could do was Pray!

So, I want to go back to the mattress. So symbolic of this story. 

Before the beginning of this meeting, Dee's brother was alone in one of those RV parks, he was so mean people didn't want to be around him, his home health providers always quit, even the hospitals began to refuse him...  I would take him food and my daughter would go clean. It was hard for both of us and there were times when he was alone. He had left the hospital against Dr's orders, so he gets what he gets. And he was laying in his own human waste because he couldn't get up and move 2 feet to the bedside potty chair. He was hollering one day and someone in the place called an ambulance that came and took him back to the hospital. 

It took my friend a few days to get here as she was working and gave a notice, also she was out of town. So, the place sat empty for a few days until the day after Ms H got here. A couple of her friends came to help her clean up as Ms H has stage 4 cataracts. What they discovered was a mattress caked with human waste. I got a call to come get the mattress out. She was so upset about this her friends are older ladies, and she couldn't see to do it herself. I told her I would talk to his sister, and we'll get a new mattress. She also called Dee's brother at the hospital to let him know the mattress was not salvageable. He also told her we would get a mattress.

Within minutes Ms H's younger daughter called to ask her how she was doing, and she started telling her what was going on. And daughter said, "Mom, we have a twin mattress, we were just talking about what were we going to do with that mattress!" See, GOD Knew! This is how GOD works, I think she said it was 30 minutes she worried and prayed, when her daughter had called! But she said it was going to be a few days before she could drive the hour to bring it. She planned for Friday; she would bring it after the kids got to school. We were all happy and praising GOD and thanking HIM for working so quickly! Let me add here that GOD doesn't always work that quickly! 

Some people wait years for GOD to answer! 

So, Mr B and I went over and took the mattress out with the garbage. We were so happy to help. (cough, cough) That was the night that I was so upset that I said something I now regret, but I see I have learned something so I suppose I will just get on with it. 

The very next morning he was calling his sister telling us he was being kicked out of the hospital, now I know they don't do that, again he was leaving... against Drs orders, but his sister was right on that, 'OK we're coming.' I called my blind friend to let her know, "here we come" ... she freaked out that there was no mattress and there was a hole in the piece that would hold up a mattress, but he didn't care, he was coming home. He did tell us on the ride home they would have given him a couple days, good thing he confessed because I was a bit upset at him lying to manipulate us. When we got to the hospital to get him, I had to grab his bags and go when the nurse came in asking what was going on and he said, "I'm going home" I felt the stress of it, so I left and waited in the car. Let his sis take care of that part. 

Soon enough we get to the house and poor Ms H thought she had a couple more days to get the place ready for him. But he just put pillows over the hole and slept like that.

Next morning Ms H's daughter rearranged her plans to bring the mattress early. We also went to get them groceries and I was so happy to see her daughter that I had not seen for years! She was helping her mother and I was so glad to see it! Mr B got the mattress put in and they put the nicest sheets and blankets on it! He looked so cozy when we came back from the store! 

Thanking GOD for giving us this woman Ms H who really wanted to help! Thank U GOD!

Well, it didn't take long for their first clash! And here's what happened, he got up to use the little bottle to pee and ooops, something else fell out! Yeah... you know, he pooped on the floor. He didn't mean to, it was an accident and that's OK but it was how he screamed at her "Get this shit off me!" that was not OK. She backed up said "Uh you're not going to talk to me like that!" and she did clean him up, but she was extremely upset and went back to her room. Called us and told us what had happened.

The next morning his sister and I went to help. Sister cleaned up the poop on the floor and said to her brother, "Look, she's your last hope, if she leaves, you're going into a facility!" She also had a few calming words for Ms H. Both of them said they wanted to work it out!

And Friends, that was the spirit of love and care that GOD had given them!

Can you guess what happened? The next morning, they talked and talked, and he begged her not to leave him! To me it looks like a serious relationship! It's like they LOVE each other!! And he has been so nice to her ever since! Saying please and thank you!

I believe in my heart that GOD can change people! And that is one thing that I and his sister argue the most about, she says 'that's her brother and he will never change!' 

But Look See! I know GOD has changed him! You see he was raised in the church, and he has the info he needs to get right with GOD before he passes. All those years of living on the wrong side of the spirit has given him the knowledge of both right and wrong in life and he knows in his heart he was wrong for being such an asshole to other people! I mean he has lost his family also! He never saw his daughter her whole life, her mother kept her from his poorly chosen lifestyle. And it was only this past Christmas that his daughter, being a supervisor of nurses, went to see him in the hospital. You know tears flowed!

So these two... Ms H and Dee's brother, who were so far distant from loving kindness, have learned the truth of loving kindness from each other! It's hard to wrap my mind around this, except to say it's one of those miracles that GOD does so well!

I did tell her in the beginning that maybe GOD can help 'her' change 'him'. She reminded me of that when she told me that when she put his food down for him to eat, she grabbed his hand and prayed... and the next time, he prayed and has been praying each and every time since! I know that sounds funny and crazy and I can't explain the whys and how's... but look and see the evidence is clear! 

People's hearts can learn and grow and change against all odds! 

I've seen the results! I see GOD in action!

This answers the wondering question I have had for years in my head. 'How can people live their whole lives serving Satan and then at the end of their lives, be forgiven and gain access to heaven?' See? Just like that, in a heartbeat when they see themselves through the eyes of GOD!

Most people would have thought they would kill each other... 

Which proves GOD is working when the prayers of a humble servant make a way for HIM!

My Joy feels good! 

Praise GOD Thank U Jesus! 

Thank U for the miracle of LOVE!

GOD Bless US Everyone! IJCNA

Struggle To The End

 I just walked through my quiet home, and I realized I had the same happy peaceful feeling I felt with my barbie house back in the 60's. GOD reminded me that we should have our own house in order before we try to organize other homes. And that is spiritual info referring to the spirit.

It's been a real struggle here. I have 2 disabled people in my house I take care of. And I have been taking care of Dee's brother not being paid for, but he was alone. Thank GOD I had an old friend of 29 years call me asking to come stay with me to get away from a horrible situation. I thought of Dee's brother, and she was so happy to hear there was a room available. And she had already taken care of her mother her aunt and her brother who have all passed now. So, she knows how to take care of a person who is on hospice. GOD has shown a hand in this arrangement everywhere! It was amazing to see GOD making things happen so smoothly, specifically getting a new mattress, which is a whole story in itself, so I will save that for another time. And getting this woman to the eye Dr to take care of her cataracts. Another thing I will save for another day. Because this blog is about GOD working within my heart.

I was also helping my neighbor who is paralyzed, she got into a car accident when she was 30. Shes 70 now, I usually see her riding the neighborhood in her wheelchair, I've known her for about 30 years now, well she is in a situation where she had lost her home health person, so I was going over there and making sure she took her medicine and helped her eat a little bit and let the dogs in and out. This was a blessing for me... She has her sister and grand daughter and her mother lives 2 houses down, but I was asked to do this at 9am and immediately said yes. I love her, she is my sister in Christ, and it was a blessing for me to be able to help when needed. 

And another friend showed up at my door, she had escaped out of her bathroom window running from the mental health people, she had attacked her husband and bit his nose, it will leave a scar. But I didn't get that info until later on. So, she asked me to take her to her dads. An hour's drive, she said she would give us gas money when we got there. (That wouldn't matter if I was rich, but I live poverty level according to my taxes.) When we got there, no one had any money and dad's card was at an aunt's house and it was too late to get it, said she would bring me money the next day, next day comes and she said her daughter said her grandson needed his Mimi, so again put off, heard nothing since. 

I'm OK today but for that night I was angry and said some things that I didn't mean. And GOD immediately showed me why and where I was wrong. 

I give my bad issues to GOD because HE knows how to help me to do better. Speaking things like that wasn't something I usually do. But I do think things that I have to give to GOD. It's because when it comes to the spirit it's both good and evil that is present. You either pass it over or pick it up. Learning and growing is to learn which is which. You really need to know so you can give the right thing to GOD. Or the wrong thing, whichever way your point of view. Because we give both good and bad to GOD... and GOD sorts it all out. This helps my peace. I am not haunted, and I can see clearly.

Things have settled down. My neighbor... she has her home health person back and Dee's brother has Ms. B, and they are well. And I am able to come in here and talk about my feelings. 

I was strained. I was on the edge. At the end of the day, I didn't have the energy or mind frame to take care of me. Or come in here and talk about certain things. Have you ever gone 5 days without a shower? Well, it's not pretty. 

I was pushed, I was needed. 

And GOD somehow pushed and pulled me through it. 

When I couldn't do more, GOD gave me rest. I think I slept 10 or 11 hours for 2 days! Did I tell you I had a dream I was fighting a war, and, in my heart, I knew that any second the enemy could come around the corner and kill me, but I kept going. Kept doing what I was supposed to do to help. 

And I made it!

I know life is a 'this and that' learning experience. 

I am grateful to have the Holy Ghost, the Spirit of GOD within to help me in all ways, always.

Many people in the world are suffering ill thoughts... I will say, call on Jesus, Jesus is the link to GOD. Do a web search, download a bible app. Learn about the man who walked this earth and taught us a better way! Pray without ceasing...

I am so happy to see the spirit swelling in the land. 

I am happy to be alive and able to serve GOD as HE serves me!

Praise GOD, Thank U Jesus!

GOD Bless US, Everyone! IJCNA