Blessed by GOD, to be loud and proud of what is good and right and true! GOD bless us, Everyone! IJCNA

Thursday, November 27, 2008

Love Always...

It is strange to see people struggle and whine and complain and blame others for things that are not satisfying for themselves. Some people never change... they stay that way and live a miserable life and die unhappy with pain and sorrow to contend with for all eternity. But others do get it. Other people are open minded enough to understand that all is not perfect for everyone. And altho some may be lucky and lead a charmed life... others are not so lucky and they have to fight to survive in this world. I have been both sorts. When I was younger I struggled hard with some horrific, terrifying events, that have scarred me for the rest of my life. Things that will be left to my a-bio. I tried to commit suicide a couple times. But learned that, that was a permanent solution to a temporary problem. So, I learned to deal with the issues one by one and made the choices that gave me a better life. Its all about choices, you know?

I did get lucky later in my 30's. I inherited 'old money' that enabled me to make some really good choices to secure my future and the future of my children. I may not live large, but I do live well.

The kids are almost all grown up now. My daughter will be 18 in 311 days! Or close to... And even now she has her own life, she is full of energy goes to school and works and is doing pretty well. She went out of town this week to a friends who has 3 young children Joes age and I have been left alone... which is not a bad thing in the least... I have taken the time to clean things that have not been cleaned in years! I am not finished yet, there are shelves and boxes I still have to get through... but I will get through them... at my own pace... SLOW... seems to me that the... slow and steady goal has always had the best reward.

It has me thinking about how people have the freedom to choose their way. And here is why I am thinking these things... years ago... when my son was dating his now wife... my daughter was also friends with his girlfriends little sister. This girl was so mean and mouthy... I made her leave my house one day because she had called my daughter a terrible name and I told her we don't talk like that in this house. She jumped in my face and screamed, F**K YOU NANCY, I WILL SAY WHAT EVER I WANT" And of course I told her 'not in my house you wont' and backed her out the door. What had made matters worse was a few weeks later she had stopped my daughter on the street and pushed her down and was beating her in the head until another girl stopped it. Well, I was much more angry after I heard about that... but never did anything about it, just hoped it would resolve some how. But one day, this mean girl was walking down the street and I was in the driveway with a couple friends... and this little smart mouth girl starts calling me names... well... I had had enough and started talking back... she walked on past and soon came back down with her mother and when I went close to 'talk' to them she tried to attack me 3 times... she even screamed at her mom, calling her names, fighting to get to me, the whole time her mother wasn't fighting back, she just tried to avoid her punches... the whole time I was yelling and telling her what a bad little girl she was for treating her mom like that.... and told her momma I felt sorry for her that she had to deal with a daughter who disrespected her so much... her dad ended up having to drive his truck down and physically having to restrain this child and put her in his truck, the whole time yelling at me for yelling so much no one could get a word in edgewise. Well friends... I had a lot to say that day... after the girl was gone I spent a few minutes in the street talking to her mother, I never had a problem with this woman... I have always thought of her as a great person... even someone I wouldn't mind being... hahaha... and that is the ultimate compliment... as I wouldn't want to be very many people... *SMILE* anyways... I explained to this mom the things that had gone on. Of course she tried to stick up for her daughter, as any good mother would... and we parted exhausted and drained of all positive thoughts.

As time went on, they had some terrible problems with her. She was a handful, her dad even had to seal her bedroom windows so she wouldn't climb out of them. These people have 4 children... all of them very good kids, but their baby... she gave them some stress... running away... disappearing often, having amber alert put out on her... passing out fliers... worried to death from the 45S murder stories resounding in everyone's head... They ended up having to put her in a military school. And when she got out of there, she joined the army, altho the army wouldn't have her for long, she got a dishonorable discharge. So much stress and problems for years.

Now remember I said that this girls sister was my sons girlfriend? They married after 4 years... so that makes these people my in laws... much better than being an outlaw, I suppose... well... I cried the day that we all gathered to watch these kids get married. All was cordial and we all were happy and my son was so much in love that he also cried as he was saying his vows... we are just a bunch of softies... lol... time has passed and now they have a 7 year history and a 9 month old baby girl and another baby on the way, due in April. It is so amazing to watch your children become parents! They have moved down to her parents house as they have more room than I do. There was no way 4 of them should live in one bedroom here, when her parents had 3 empty bedrooms down there. It was hard convincing my son to leave his mom... I dont think it was a silly mommies baby sort of thing, I think its more of, that... he worries about his mom and wont be there to protect her... errr.. me. But time made him realize that it was OK for him to move down there. And that is the way it is. All their other kids had moved out, so them moving out of here and down there has been a very good thing. Now, I get to go down there to babysit. And leave my house clean, so when I come home there is still no mess! This is so new to me... as for years I had so many kids here so much, it was all I could do to keep up with the dishes and laundry and picking up messes they would leave. But now... my baby is working and going to school, going to a friends house when she is off. So I am able to have some peace and quiet and have a constantly clean house... I LOVE that part!

Anyways... back to my point... as time has gone by... here I am co-grandparents with these people... and time has made it to where I am spending time with the man who once yelled at me in the street long ago... and the mom who was so strong in her way... one day I hope she knows how much I admire and respect her for her strength and honesty. We had gone through so much together with our kids growing up... these people are like family to me now... the father cracks jokes and we sit and guess the answers on WHO WANTS TO BE A MILLIONAIRE... I am there because he doesn't hear well and is afraid he cant take good care of the baby, so I sit and wait for the other grandmom to come home. But you know what? I don't mind that at all. We have become friends. He is funny and cares a lot about his family. He is a devoted husband and father and has the love of his youth beside him. One of my favorite pictures in their house is one of them when they were very young... of all the pics in their house... my son is in a few of them too... that one pic of them together as a young couple... well... it just makes me cry happy tears every time I look at it! I am so happy that I am able to talk with these people as friends now... I am so happy to see how life changes... and I love how some people have open minds and hearts to accept and care about others... and not to continue the anger... or harbor resentments. Well, they wouldn't resent me anyways because they knew their daughter was a handful. I am so glad that none of my kids ever got in my face or attacked me like that.

Well, the other day the mean girl was back. My son had text me asking me to come down and change the babies diaper... lol... he will change a wet one, but not a poopie one... and when I walked in the door I saw this girl. I swooped up the baby to go change her and when I was done I knew what I had to do... I went in the living room and casually asked her when her baby was due... it was good to make small talk with my daughter in laws sister who is having a baby of her own about 2 months before my daughter in law will have hers... she was happy to talk about her baby and how she was doing... it made me feel very happy to be able to talk like regular people to this girl... for so many years I had only tolerated her presence and now I was enjoying her laughter. And then a couple days later I had walked down there to babysit and she came out to let me know my son was gone and had the baby with him. I had some mail I handed her and we started talking... we talked about about lots of things... one thing being my sons friend who always needs a bath, peeeeewww. I asked her why didn't she say something to him... and she said... "Oh, I cant be that mean." WOW... I must admit I had to laugh... but in my laughter I learned a lesson. One of life's most important lessons... I learned that its really not where we come from, or what we did there... but where we're going that matters... and to hear this 'mean girl' after so many years, verbally admit that she couldn't be that mean left a warm fuzzy feeling in my soul. Yes... people can change... they can see that they really don't want to hurt other people. And that lesson usually comes from being hurt themselves. She was once on an emotional lifeboat... and had the strength and courage, to climb aboard the ship of life... and live with others who see her as a good decent young adult, just trying to make her way in this life.

Yes... life is so strange... you must never count on someone being a failure for life... people make mistakes and look back and regret their way... and so they choose a different path that leads them into the way that is good. If you know someone who is lost and angry out there in this cruel world... please, never give up on them. Love them always... because it will rub off... it will give you a great return of 100% genuine love and concern for you too as a person... rocking on this love boat of life.