The Purpose Of GOD

    There are so many reasons in my life to be depressed. Also in my past there were many reasons to be depressed. I didn't have decent parents, I didn't even know my dad till I was around 9. And even then I really didn't know him. My mother was very selfish and self centered and only wanted us around for a minute to go to the welfare office, most of the time she left us with my grandparents. Thank God she did that because my grandparents genuinely loved us. Although also I could feel the anger in them because my mother was not a very good person, they had trouble with her since she turned 12 when they caught her having sex with the neighbor boy under the houses. The house was on blocks. 

Sometimes I just feel cursed. I've already had people pray to remove any curses. But still I suppose my life really is now only about my choices. I think one of the worst things I did was when I got an inheritance I did help a lot of other people thinking it was a good thing. All I could think about is if I could help someone and I didn't, I would regret it later.  I felt like I was doing it for Jesus. 

To this day I wonder about it, because now I am in debt so much. Its not really me... I am a minimalist. But I do share with others. Even right now I have someone using my good credit. Uggg and I really want to feel good about it. I do believe that she will pay the bill. But my point is as much as I have done, how can I be so undone?

I think I know why though.

Our system is built on a desire for profit. It seems no one wants to do something just out of the goodness of their heart. Like I did. And I guess its quite possible I was wrong. Only GOD knows.

I've had thoughts of suicide which I have prayer warriors praying that shit away! And also, I really don't want to die. The other day I did an overdose, not really on purpose. And I found it was hard to breath and every time I was gasping for air I felt like that was it, I was going to die, when faced with it, I really didn't want to die. I wanted to LIVE! I want to see my grand children grow up! I want to fix my problems and be at peace. I just want to do better. 

And  alas... my depression makes things worse.

I talk to GOD and HE always gives me encouragement and tells me to remember Job? Don't quit! And that is what made me come in here today. I can't quit. I can't really change the depression but I can keep my spirits up and maybe, I hope... things will fall into place.

I ask GOD, "WHY"??? and believe it or not, I hear HIM laugh!  HE says I already know. 

So I'm thinking my fleshly parts are in command here. I have decided to let my soul take over and only think about my inside spirit. What is the best for it to do? And I seek out GODs ways. I stand on the promise that HE will see me through. And I can see myself as a very old woman, coming in here all hunch back, and writing my thoughts down to share.

Yesterday a Lady was shot and killed just going into the gym right around the corner! And 1/2 hour before that a robbery was reported right down the street, same vehicle reported in the murder. I drove by taking my grand daughter to summer school and they were hosing down the blood. 

This has always been a good safe neighborhood, I've lived here since I was 9 and my grand parents bought a house in this neighborhood and I bought this one before they passed.

I have also noticed the streets are littered with garbage. To many people are falling away from GOD. Parents don't teach their kids about GOD anymore, so there are no morals or ethics. Yet at the same time I know that there are many who do follow Jesus and do care about the garbage being put in garbage cans. And no where in Heaven is there a place for murder. 

But it seems like people are so disrespectful. Turning away from GOD brings on the disrespect. 

GOD stands for all the good things in life! LOVE, JOY, PEACE... GOD says hate and anger and violence are NOT GOOD! This is an absolute truth! Without the love and care of people things will fall apart and be filled with garbage, with chaos in the streets. You can't go anywhere without thinking this could be the day that I die. I know when I went out today that is what I thought. Because the killer of the lady at the gym has not been caught. We are waiting for an update. I am praying for the capture of the killer as it was recorded on security cameras. Houston is a big city, but the cops are pretty good and usually always gets their man... or woman. I have a video I took when a criminal was caught by the cops in my back yard a few months ago, they were women robbers! 

When we raise our children to know Jesus and to find GOD, we are able to instill love and respect within them. We lead them into the way that is good and they understand it! Some who are not led to the good ways will never understand it, not until they are in a prison and they are forced to learn about Jesus. 

Jesus is THE WAY, THE TRUTH and THE LIFE!

When you respect others, its supposed to teach them to respect you. But it doesn't always do that. In fact Murphys laws are more likely to come into effect. Some people don't want to respect others because they don't know why... however they want you to respect them. And GOD says "NO" You can't trust those whose souls have been corrupted.

Its really sad we are in such turmoil always choosing to support Barabbas and not Jesus!

I am guessing that is why in the old testament GOD had people put to death over sin.

And then later figured it would be best to LOVE people to perfection! I do believe in Practically Perfect People! PPP's I think as we follow GODS laws it brings us to a perfect place. The devil has got so many people not believing anymore. 

So when GOD was taken out of the system it became something NOT based on LOVE and CARE... it became something that doesn't even acknowledge the difference between good and bad. So many think that bad is good and good is bad these days.

But...

You can never change GOD...  GOD will always be the same for ever! People will still have a better life with LOVE and CARE leading them, rather than hate and arrogance. Hate and anger will always lead you to a bad place, and once your there you call out, for goodness sake! You want to live in sin but when it backfires on you and hurts you... well you can never go back and change it! This is where GOD comes in... to PREVENT people from heading to sin in the first place. 

Teaching the young folk to avoid sin is WISE!

And that is the whole purpose of GOD!

Looking back it wasn't mine to have good parents who prevented me to go around sin... they lived in sin and loved it... until they hated it. But by then the damage was done.

If I could go back and tell the little girl that I was that 'GOD didn't want this for you'... but, you will suffer for their sin in so many ways, but as you grow, make good choices because once you've done it, you can never undo it. I am thankful to GOD that even though I did sin... and have suffered a great deal for it... there has been good endings. Like the little baby girl I put up for adoption when I was a teen, in my sin... a family was blessed with the LIFE of a baby. They had been married 10 years and never got pregnant so GOD used my sin to bless them and if it wasn't for that love and appreciation that they gave me 40 s0me odd years later... it would of been for no good. And she was blessed to grow up on a farm with a solid rock foundation of Jesus. Now she grew to know pain when her baby son was murdered, but who is without some sorrow in their lives to know and appreciate the good parts?

You know what I am happy about?

The young people coming up and recognizing the difference between good and evil. And they take steps to ensure their future will be a good positive thing! I know I can't go back and change things to have better results, no one can... but I can make sure I warn my kids and grandkids! And they know! And I will tell as many as who will listen!

You don't have to be afraid or alone! For the Spirit of GOD is available to you 24/7 at no cost! All you have to do is learn about the man Jesus, who over 2000 years ago, walked and talked with GOD and taught us that we can do the same! 

I will always suffer for my sins... and my parents sins... there is nothing I can do to change my story. I grew up in hell... was taught to sin... chose to follow Jesus and now... I am blessed beyond measure with worldly and spiritual gifts! And GOD has gifts for you too! 

Call out to GOD within your spirit! Ask for HIM to give you the Holy Ghost that will live in you and will always guide you to the way of TRUTH and JOY and PEACE!

And you may or may not feel different right away, but it will slowly grow...

... and will become magnificent!

GOD Bless US, Everyone! IJCNA