Blessed by GOD, to be loud and proud of what is good and right and true! GOD bless us, Everyone! IJCNA

Sunday, April 16, 2006

For the Love of A Child...

When I was young, before I had children of my own, I would always see other peoples children running around with dirty faces, hands and clothes, most times a dirt ring around their neck, that their momma's would have to tell them to lift their chin to 'get that ring' .

"Oh, MY kids wont run around like that." I said. And I really believed what I said to be true.


Dont ever say 'never', they say. But of course I wasnt old enough to know the true facts of life. Kids do get dirty. In fact, most kids love the dirt. I remember how I loved to make mud pies. We would stir the water into the dirt to make it just the right consistancy. Yes, we got dirty and we loved it.

But I must of forgotten when I was an older teen how important it was for kids to get out and get dirty. For that was when I started to notice dirt for what it was. Dirt. There was nothing magical about it like there was when I was a little kid. Forgotten was the pleasure of flipping out a perfect mudpie and decorating it with leaves and flower petels.

Nope, when I was older I never wanted to play in the dirt anymore. And I always swore my children wouldnt either. There were so many toys. So many cleaner things to do.

Its funny how we think about our kids. Even before they are born. Whether we are right or wrong in our thoughts, they were still there. Wondering what sort of kids we would have, or even if we would have them.

I always knew I would have children. I also thought I would have a man to stand by me and be a good father. I never knew how hard life was gonna be. I wasnt prepared for the dirt.

As the years went by and I had my babies. And they got bigger and learned to play in the dirt, my ideas changed. Awww, what was so harmful about having a kid who was active and outside with all the friends in the dirt. The boys and their dump trucks, creating dirt streets and building dirt mountains. Even the girls jumped right in with their dolls in the dirt and a puddle was a magical lake. The imaginations on these kids made me realise that there wasnt anything wrong with letting them play and then a nice bath at the end of the day brought out their rosy faces and clean soft skin.

Kids are so funny in their thinking. They never know how big this world really is. For their world never went past the puddles and mud tracks. Friends who came to the door to see if their best buddies could come out and play. Such innocence. Such love for life. So eager to get out in the fresh air and sunshine and 'dirt'. And you realise that they are making their own memories, patting out their own mud pies.

As they grow and you let them make decisions, you have to trust them to do good things and make right choices. They have to, in order to grow. You have to let them make their own way. You give them good advice and then you trust them to have the common sense to make good choices for themselves.

Then, when their choices dont match your idea of good. Well, then you live with it cause you love them enough to accept them, faults and all.

Sometimes your not ready to hear what they want to tell you. I have a very close relationship with my children. They are not afraid to talk to me about anything. Sometimes I even get more information than I want. You dont want your child running around with dirty faces and clothes. But when that is what they love to do, they will do it. Or suffer.

I remember a little girl whose mother always dressed her in lace and ruffles and patent leather shoes. And never allowed her to go play like the other kids. There she was, standing on the inside of her fence, with the saddest look on her face as she watched the other kids with their toys. Yes they were getting dirty and she wasnt allowed to get dirty. How sad for her, I thought. Surely it would be better for her to put on some old clothes and get out there and play with the other kids. Not locked up and unable to enjoy life as a young child.

And they do grow up. And they still go out in the world and experiance different things. And we can tell them about all the bad things. We can tell them what not to do, or what they shouldnt do. And then we have to let them live their life.

I hesitate to say that some kids are just stupid and do bad things anyway. But who am I to judge any other person? I gave my child life and GOD gave my child the freedom to choose their own path. We can only go with what happens. And in no way make them feel bad about mistakes.

Now, my 15 year old daughter will be a mother. I was blindsided. Shocked. Cried for days, for lost dreams for her. Missing out on her childhood. Missing out on parties and dances and dates. Instead of buying makeup or a CD, she will buy diapers and baby things.

I cant go back and change it. I did my best to warn her. But who am I to say it was a mistake? I am certainly not GOD in all HIS wisdom, who should say that it is WRONG. No, I wont say that. I will however believe that 'all things work together for good for those that believe'. And knowing that, maybe that child will grow up to be someone amazing. Do something necessary.

I would never make a decision for her. I have a friend who when she got pregnant at 14, her mother gave her no choice. Made her have an abortion. She said to this day she struggles inside with this and cant get over those bad feelings that she still blames her mother for.

No, I would never force my power over my children like that. So many children are used, abused, taken for granted. Ask a person who cant have children how they are feeling about it? Who knows why some people can have babies and dont care about them, yet others ache for a child and can never have one. I dont understand all that. But I do understand that my child is a special person. Smart and able to make her own decisions.

I have a friend who blames me. She says its my fault. I usually dont go off on my friends, but what did she think? That I was forcing them to have sex for to make a baby? She doesnt know the many times I made sure the door was always open. I would be there watching to make sure they dont do anything. Sure. But what about when they go somewhere else?

When I found out that my daughter had been having sex with her boyfriend whom she has known since she was 4 and he was 7... I asked her why? She said, "Mom, I have a serious boyfriend and thats just what people do." Well, I couldnt argue with her. I was sure glad that she didnt come home and tell me she was at a party and got drunk and took drugs and she dont know who her babies daddy is. That would break me faster than a heart attack.

When love is true, you just cant come between anything like that.

I am thankful that they have real love. I am grateful they are together after 11 years and plan on getting married. I am so happy that they have that kind of love. Many people wait their whole life for a love like that. Few ever find it.

And who am I to say this baby wont be a miracle? I will not play GOD and throw lightening bolts down to cause trouble or distention.

I will be strong and take it as it comes.

For the love of a child....