Still Learning Here

 I should learn not to say anything, but I can't help it. 

The Lord is with me.

Something happened last week. I'm really still reeling from. 

I have a new job and I love it. I work for a paraplegic. She is also a neighbor and an old friend of about 30 years. I have only recently started working for her and most of the time we agree on most things. But we had a disagreement and of course I work for her, and I am going to do what I can to help.

She had a picture on her wall, and to be honest I thought it was Jesus. I really never gave it a thought as being something bad. Ms.S kept saying how it needed to be burned. I disagreed. 

She had told me that it was an idol. I'm like 'what'? I go to look closer, and it is a hand drawn picture of the Lady of Guadeloupe and beautiful flowers. It still looked holy to me, like the virgin Mary, and I didn't want it to be burned. I tried every argument in the book. 

You see the person who drew it was her husband and he has been dead a few years now.

I told her it was a token of love from her husband, not an idol. 

She didn't care.

I even prayed over and over one night about it and got the same answer, 'She is not idolizing it'. 

It had letters in Spanish about 'loving his wife very much' and he had signed it. 

The reason it is so important is because they did it the right way! The old-fashioned way and they were married about 50 years. She of course as a paraplegic for about 40 years. Sad thing, and I just didn't think it was the right thing to do. Burn it. 

We talked about it... about 3 days, and she wasn't changing her mind. She even told me that I wasn't a real Christian and don't know the real GOD. And she was going to pray to GOD to show me the right way. 

Well, I do know the scripture that prohibits the worship of idols and icons, but this wasn't what this was about. If she stopped in her wheelchair and prayed to the drawing every time she passed it, then I would say there was a problem. But for real this was a drawing that in my point of view was the 'ultimate gesture of love' as he was thinking of her like he thought of the virgin of Guadeloupe. To me it was a beautiful thing wrought out of much love for his wife, not worshipping an idol. 

I sort of got angry when she told me that I don't know GOD and I went and got the picture that was drawn on a cotton cloth and took it out and shred it and burned it just like she wanted me to do. She told me I was doing the right thing. I think not. 

And in the middle of it, I lifted my eyes up and said, "I'm sorry." (Not really sure if it was to her husband or the Lady Guadeloupe or GOD HIMSELF.) And she sharply said, "Who are you apologizing to?" I had no answer.

I felt like a Muslim going into churches and destroying ancient treasures. 

It's not that we worship them, it's simply a token of a memory!

I don't believe in destruction at all. Unless it is to tear down a building and build up another. And even then, I would have my doubts. 

So, her roommate came in the kitchen and saw me burning something at the sink and asked what was going on... and I told her, and she was on my side, "Oh NO Ms.S, your husband drew that for you!" 

I felt a huge relief knowing she agreed with me. 

I was cleaning up after and there was a small black mark from the fire I couldn't get up and I said, "it's a token of my sin."  You see I felt like it was a sin to destroy something so beautiful.

I feel like GOD loved the Lady Guadeloupe.

I was talking to another friend who told me that a lot of people have been healed going to pay homage to her down in Mexico. To me it wasn't the Lady who healed, but she was the inspiration needed to bring people to the point of being healed by GOD the GOOD Father who does fix HIS children. 

I don't think I will ever get over this. But...

Each to their own. 

The next day I told her I regret doing it. I wish I would have said no. 

She rolled her eyes, exasperated with me.

But to me it was about the job. I work as her hands and it's something she really wanted done. I did it just like she asked me to. 

I pray that one day this memory leaves me like so many other bad memories have. 

I actually have found more peace and happiness at this time of my life, than I have ever had in my whole life. I have my home, my family who lives close and loves me tremendously and a job within walking distance. I don't have a car and I don't have a lot of healthy foods, but I believe GOD still loves me for the limited life I lead. 

It's not about me, it's about US!

GOD Bless US Everyone! IJCNA