HEVEN

My sister passed away yesterday. I am devastated. I mean GOD kept telling me, that one day I would go in to check on her and she would be gone. I shushed the thought out of my head but it was there always in the back of my mind. So, I have decided to be grateful that she passed in peace.

Things had been going well. She had her bad days and she had some good days. We had some fun times in the kitchen, I would start a song and she would come in singing along. We laughed at goofy things... she had dementia and would see and hear things that were not there. She knew this was happening, I kept telling her trust me I am not going to let her think false things. We would all tell her what was real and what was not real.

I've known her all of my life... I am 59 she was 61.

We grew up in hell. A mother who would strip us naked and beat us for whatever reason. When one got in trouble all got in trouble and I was the youngest at under 2 years old. The beatings lasted until I was 12 and I went to live with my dads new family. But the damage had already been done. Thank GOD we had our Grandmother who took very good care of us!

When we reached our teens... well, sister had run away from my mother and Roger...with 2 young boys who were going to take her to our dad. But there was an accident. She broke her back in 5 places, glass crashed through her forehead and her wrist was practically cut off. That was the first time she was on pain pills and she had pain all her life. When I was 18 she started hating me because I was a pot smoker. She was fierce about it. She wouldn't come see me for years. Our Mother passed 5 years ago and my sister took care of all that, we never passed in the hospital seeing our mother.

My sister had suffered with cancer for many years. It was a type they could cut off whenever it came back. But she didn't let that stop her.

One day about 3 years ago, she called me out of the blue. I was happy surprised to hear from her. She was telling me that her cancer was back and her house burned down... she was staying with in law people but was unhappy. The first words I said to her... "Come to my house I have a room for you!" You see she had been in MD Anderson and was being released. My heart leapt with joy when she came in and brought her only belongings, it was a strange time, but I always loved my sister even when she hated me.

As time went on... we became closer and closer. We laughed a lot. We watched the old shows on me.tv we used to watch when we were little kids. She did need a lot of help. I helped her in the shower... I gave her pedicures... I always try to get her to eat good healthy stuff but NO... she did things her way. She was diabetic and I would be telling her all the time not much sugar,,, but she loved donuts and pastries and pies and all sorts of yummy carbs. Her numbers had been high. She was taking insulin. But she would sneak food. She also had heart problems. I would do her laundry and help her dress. Brushing her hair was a joy to me, she had beautiful hair.

Every day I would Thank GOD for restoring my sister and giving us the time to find our peace and joy! I would often tell her how happy I was that she was with us and always told her I didn't want her to leave. That was when she was talking about rebuilding her home and moving back there, But in my head I knew that wasn't gonna be a good idea cause of her health.

She smoked like a chimney... Whenever I talked to about quitting smoking she got very offensive.. said she enjoyed smoking and that she would be smoking in heaven. (Uh no sister, there are no physical bodies in heaven) but I know we have our memories so maybe she will be loving those memories. She didn't drink alcohol... mostly coffee and milk. She loved food to much and enjoyed eating. She must of not been able to remember when she ate... and then ate more than needed. We loved being together eating yummy food. And we would laugh at the mayo all over her face! HAHAHA...

So for a while now GOD had told me, "One day your gonna find her gone." more than once and I acknowledged the thought, thinking I had many years to go with her. Relaxed that I could be there for her. But then...

On Saturday she got up and had coffee... then went to take a nap.

Around 3:40PM I heard the dog bark in her room. I opened the door and the dog came out. I said Heven… first thing I noticed was her stomach wasn't breathing... I reached for a pulse and there was none... and she was very cold... I SCREAMED out her name... HEVEN... and rolled her over as she was on her stomach. And when I saw her face I knew she was gone. I called 911, I was so distraught my BFF took the phone and tried CPR... I ran outside to stop the firetruck... When they went in, they came right out.  told me what I knew.  I must say, when they went back outside... I did go in there and gave my sister a huge hug… my BFF was there for me... Thank GOD.

They were there for hours. Firemen... paramedics… Police... and Medical examiner...

Was the hardest moment when they rolled her out in a body bag.

Now....

I can only do what I can find... dishes... washing the coffee cup she last used was hard. Mopping the floors... doing laundry. Keeping busy.

The most wonderful part of this situation is I got to meet her husbands family... I am sensitive to spirits and every one of them had a beautiful soul. We sat and chatted... I LOVE this family! Out of every one of them... there was not one who made me nervous or upset. I only felt goodness from everyone of them and for that I am grateful. I LOVE GOOD PEOPLE!

She's no longer in pain... she is in a better place... GOD LOVES her...

I pray for GOD to help me fix things that I need. HE knows what I need.

GOD Bless US, Everyone! IJCNA