Blessed by GOD, to be loud and proud of what is good and right and true! GOD bless us, Everyone! IJCNA

Monday, July 24, 2006

The Truth About GOD...

Yes, I am inspired!

And I think this is something that everyone should contemplate in their lives.

The answer is inside. Please follow me....

So many people think that they will find GOD in the church, or the trees, or the air... I am not saying that GOD is NOT in the churches... I am saying people EXPECT to find GOD there. I think churches are good for the gathering of likeminded people who live in a common area and like to gather together and share their spirits. I think the churches are very good for that.

In my past I have been to several different types of churches. There were a few that I really felt good at, really felt the joy and peace and love of GODS children. But some other places have been scary, where perverts roam and hide behind the cloak of religiousness. This is a scary subject, as we want all our children to know GOD. But I can tell you now, that you cant find GOD in a certain church, or in the trees or the wind or the sun. These are all beautiful and lovely things we have, but thats not where you go to find GOD.

But if you are really searching for the ONE TRUE GOD... the GOD of all mankind that teaches love, and caring and compassion and truth and joy and tenderness and kindness and goodness... you only have to examine your own soul. Thats right.. look inside yourself.

There is a scripture...

Hebrews 8; 10
For this is the covenant that I will make with the house of Israel After those days, saith the Lord; I will put my laws into their mind, And on their heart also will I write them: And I will be to them a God, And they shall be to me a people...


These are very powerful words.

You dont have to look very far to find GOD, for the real GOD lives right inside your very own soul. And you will know in your heart and mind what is right and good. Its all a matter of personal choice... you follow the spirit inside you.

There is an old Native American Indian story you may have read about... a young boy asks his Grandfather about the good wolf and a bad wolf are fighting inside of you... and which one will win? The wise old mans answers; "The one that you feed".

The part of yourself that you nurture... is the part that will win.

I am not collage educated... but I have learned alot by reading. I have a particular interest in world religions. And I have noticed for the most part.. except the one that teaches to 'kill all the infidels'... most all other religions are based on the same principal. That we love one another. That we are kind and understanding and helpful to one another... doing good to one another. Even the christian bible teaches that if we 'LOVE ONE ANOTHER' we have fulfilled the law.

I dont want this to be labled religious... because there has been so much corruption there. I want this to be about personal decisions in our lives. Doing what is right because we know its right in our hearts and minds... Oh yes... thats right... many of you know that doing wrong is MUCH easier. It really is harder to do the right thing. It takes a strong person to do the right thing when they sooooo want to do the wrong thing.

For the most part, people can be told by someone whom they feel close to that "this is wrong, dont do it". And they know in their heart and mind that their elder or peer is right. Friends and family are very helpful for to make a person feel safe and secure. And you know, we all have the potiential to do the wrong thing. But we can be a stronger better person if we do what is good and right and honest. It is actually very simple. It is bothersome how some people make it more complicated than it really is.

Dont let someone lead you into a way that you know is not good. 'Peer pressure' and 'the desire to please' and 'fear' are strong things to fight against. But fight we must in order to create a more perfect world for our children. Believe me... the time will come when the people will realise the difference. For most everyone will have the knowledge inside their hearts and minds that to do 'good things' is way better for all concerned or involved.

This world would be a much better place if we fed our children more love and joy and peace and goodness. It all depends on what we teach our children. When your children make you so mad you want to wring their neck and your face gets all red cause your bloodpressure has hit the ceiling... stay focused, be mad and explain to them WHY you are mad. They are not stupid, they will understand. And then after a little while... show more relaxed... give forgiving looks and within 12 hours hug that child and tell them how important they are to you and you only want good things for them. You just want them to do better. (at this point it is good to name someone you both know who hasnt made good choices and could do better.) This child knows you are telling them the truth. And will know the truth in their own hearts and mind.

It is inside our own selves where we find the answers. A common spirit. Something we all know to be true and something our children will learn. The world isnt evil. Evil is the oposite of good. When people choose not to do the good things, there are 2 other options. They can do nothing or they can do evil. I am not sure why people do evil... I would guess it would be for entertainment, showing off power/control to their peers... or even revenge could be a motive. Oh and selfishness. I had an Egyption pop up on my yahoo and started having a conversation... of course I am asking him political questions and wonder why they fight? And he explained to me like this. "Say we both share a room, one TV and one PC. And then after awhile we decide we dont want to share' what would we do?".... at first I was being a smartass and said, "uh... you kill me and have it all?" I dont think he thought that was very funny. Well you all know what I told him? That I couldnt understand how people would be that selfish! I would never be selfish and want to hog everything like that. He didnt stay talking to me for long. I wonder if his government saw I was trying to tell him about love and caring and sharing...

But anyway... how we treat others is how they will learn to treat us... its been the 'golden rule' from way back... so lets treat others with the loving kindness and compassion and care they need in order to learn it.... in order to share it with others.

Yeah, I think thats the ticket!!!

Monday, July 17, 2006


I imagine some people wont think that this is or could possibly be my worst regrets. But they are, in truth, so I have to tell it, for truths sake.

I think the worst regret of all time is the lost poems I dont write down. The poems that flow through my head are endless and quite funny at times. And at other times full of woe. But those poems that float by in my life's mind are the little things that mean a lot to me that I regret not taking the time to grab a piece of paper and pen, even if its an old french fry bag, which I have done that once and also paper bags.

The next thing I feel I regret deeply... was when I lived on Kirkville with my X husband, when dinner was almost ready, I had to go next door to get my daughter who was playing with their 2 daughters. When I went to the door, the father invited me in. I declined because my mind was on dinner that was simmering on the stove. However, my regret there is I didnt go in the house for just a couple minutes, be a little neighborly, ya know? I dont think dinner would of burnt, to much. Also, I am a bit of a recluse and I dont get to close to people, but I wish I had gotten closer to my neighbors that day. WHY? well, because they were a very nice black family (back when I was a young girl I dont think we called them black, they were people of color). Now, I have never been one to be racist, for When I was a little girl and colored families moved into our neighborhood, I made friends and didnt see in color, we all bleed red blood. However, that day at my neighbors house, what they thought was important to me. And I sluffed it off as with "Oh no.. I have dinner on the stove." Which was a legitimate reason, but to this day it haunts me. What if they thought that I thought I was to good to go in their house? Or what if they thought I thought it wasnt clean enough for me? Neither was such the case for me. Actually, at the time I wasnt thinking about color or cleanliness at all, I was thinking about dinner that was cooking on the stove, and getting my family fed. But now my concern is that they thought I thought I was better than them. It would of been an awful misunderstanding if that is what they thought. And I have always cared what people thought/felt. Funny that this is such a thing as to be a regret for me even though there is a 50% chance that they took no offence at all. That they understood I was worried about other things.

I think the regret that makes me feel the worst about myself inside is about the day I wanted to take my son to Astroworld. Well, actually my son and I had season passes and we loved to go together. One day he wanted to take one of his friends, which was cool with me. Then I found out when we got there to pick up the kid, that his momma said the only way this kid could go was if his little brother went too. Now I am not making any judgements on any mothers decision, I am sure that half of the people would of made that same decison and then the other half would feel like I did by the end of the day. Well, I wasnt wanting or planning to be a babysitter for the day. But you know how kids are, and my son also told me that he would ride with me and the brothers could ride together. Well, when we got there, can ya guess what happened? Awwww come on, go ahead and pause and see if you can guess! I bet you can hit it right on the head! You can probably guess that my son and his friend ran and stuck together like glue and me and the uhhh... 'little one' walked and hung out, BECAUSE he was to afraid to ride ANY of the rides, except the little kiddie ride. Oh joy! SO, that day for me, was just a day of babysitting someone elses kid, unable to ride any rides because I couldnt leave the kid alone at Astroworld. I was so mad at my son for breaking his promise to me that HE would ride with me... at least I would of felt more comfortable leaving the two brothers in a safe spot while I went on at least ONE RIDE with my son! But they whined about it so you know what sort of a sap I am. I was sorta angry about it... but this is not yet telling of my regret. I actually love kids and dont begrudge the kids a day of fun. From what I understood, they had never been and probably wernt gonna get to go in the near future. And of course I silently steamed and made it through the day the best I could. The actual regret came on the ride home. Some of you may know how I get when I get upset... and for the whole ride home I was telling that kid he was safer on those rides at Astroworld, than he was riding in the car with me on the freeway. I probably put a fear in that boy that day that he may still remember today about how UNSAFE our freeways are. And you know they are, accidents happen everyday on the freeways and people die in a lot of them. And the death rate at Astroworld was way lower. I think all but one of those deaths was a worker who was working on the ride. I am not totally positive of that, but if I remember correctly they were working on the ride and fell or got stuck. But there wasnt many customer deaths at the park. If any at all. Seems like I do remember one, years and years ago. But anyways, I lectured the kids all the way home. Was mad at my son for running off with his friend and sticking me with the little scared kid... and then mad at the kid for being scared of something that was way safer than some of the other things he does. Now I wish I wasnt so hard on the kids that day. I should of just kept my mouth shut.

There have been smaller, like half regrets, things that I wish I might of done differently. Like, I wonder what my life would be like today if the night a man from Faces International from NewYork came up to me and asked me if I would consider going to New York to work for Faces Int. He said I had a 'rare international... um... he used the word 'beauty' I spose with my Eurpoean French and Native American Indian, Scotch/Irish mixed blood would make me pretty international... lol... Well, He and his boss, (a woman) called me for 4 months trying to talk me into moving to work for them. But, in my head I was thinking, "who would take care of the children?" I am sure if I would of shucked my life with the kids and went to New York, things would sure be different for me today. But I chose to stay with the kids. This isnt really a regret... I mean I think about it because things would be so totally different for me today. And maybe there is a very slight regret... but... nawwwww... my life as MotherPope would of never been. I am everyones mom. Which I believe serves a much better purpose. My kids know they are my TOP priority. I have never chosen a job, or a man over the kids. But soon, (and I hope this wont be another regret) but as soon as my daughter gets married in OCT of '07... I will create my own life. A life for me. Some people, when their kids are grown and gone, they get depressed and cling to the past because their life 'was' the kids, but when this time comes for me... I am going to be FREE... not having to be RESPONSIBLE for anyone except myself.

Looking on the back side of it, being a single mother is the hardest job in the world. Well, it has been for me because I never had any other means of support. No family to help me do anything. I have had to do it all... all alone. Because when you put your kids first in your life, the kids see that and it makes them feel more confident and safe. Maybe not right away, but in time the kids see how much you love them... more than your own life itself. Or at least thats the way it should be. And now I have 4 of them. My son and his wife in one room and my daughter and her fiance in the other. They are all working so hard to do good in their own lives and that is what makes me a very happy mom! But like I said... OCT of '07... my daughter gets married and I am DONE! Of course I will never be finished being a mom... I will always be a mom... And THERE I have NO regrets!