Christmas Thoughts

Its Christmas. I'm here because I can't share these thoughts with anyone in my real life. 

OK. WOW. I had just written that first line and then my son and 3 of my grandkids showed up and reminded me that they can make my day a whole lot better. 

Yup. You almost got a woe is me post because I was having triggers left and right all day. I was crying on and off all day today and having anxiety attacks that were driving me crazy! 

And I couldn't share my thoughts with anyone in my life because it upsets them. 

How very proper for GOD to send over my son and his kids. I have often asked GOD why I had to suffer the things I had to suffer, and I never understood it when GOD said, 'for Daniel'. Daniel is my sons name, and I just couldn't figure it out, because I couldn't even take care of myself how was I going to take care of a baby!?! 

Now I can see clearly that GOD was way ahead of my thinking. Knowing that one day I would have grandchildren who love me more than I have ever been loved in my life.

Oh, I know I have had many men in my life, more than my fair share. And I am sure I have thrown away many a good one. I just didn't know how to deal with them. I was used to being mistreated and it felt strange with a 'good man'. I think it was a thing in my brain that told me I didn't deserve a good man.

Here I am today with many regrets. But I didn't know any better. You know that old saying, if I knew then what I know now. Well, I am sure none of my knowledge could change other people's actions. Like those of my mother and biological dad. I have a hard time calling him dad because he never acted like my dad. We do suffer for the sins of our parents. 

So here I am thrice divorced. There was none who loved me more than they loved themselves. This is not GODS way, as HE directs men to love their wives as they love themselves. 

OK, back to my day. I was having a bad one. I don't have money to buy Christmas nor to have a feast. My son brought me a ham and I had rice and green beans. Of which I am grateful for. I am not complaining. I was just trying to tell myself that most people are having a better day.

I was crying watching The Waltons... I was reading stories on Quora that made me cry. I know I am not unique or unusual. Lots of people in the world suffer for sin. Whether their own or someone else's.

This is why I come here and share my thoughts and feelings.  

Because GOD can make our way better! I've had a terrible childhood, but my grand motherhood is so good!  I do treat them better than I got treated. They have a good mom and dad and will never know the pain I have lived in my lifetime. 

Although I have shared some of my past with my 14- and 15-year-old granddaughters. They are so understanding, and they give good hugs. 

But what I want for them and other kids in the world is to have the best life! And it is with the wisdom of GOD that we can achieve the perfect lifestyle! Oh, we can't have a perfect life, but we can have the perfect attitude when something wants to bring us down. 

If we follow Jesus and we hang out with people who follow Jesus, we won't have much trouble. But every so often the devil gets a hold of a person or situation to try to break you down.

I can tell you through years of tears, hang on tight to what you know is right and you will survive!  

It's too late for me. Besides I'm doing the best I can with what I've got. 

And what I've got is GOD and HE will comfort and sustain me for the rest of my days.

I once read that secret problems in families can go back 200 or more years. But LOOK! We live in the age where knowledge is just a few clicks away!

I do have a favorite Bible app. I have a few regular emails from my favorite GODLY people and most of my online time is centered around good positive information. If I see something that GOD tells me is not good, I shut it off or swipe left and keep going right! HAHAHA... Yes, pun intended! 

I am happy to say that I am feeling much better now. 

Thank y'all for reading. For some reason I feel like y'all care about me, which gives me what I need to keep going on here. I mean not here on the blog lol... I' will come here until I die! 

But in my life. I am so glad that I am not limited. We grow with GOD!

I am so thankful that I have my life as a Grandmother... and then my life here as MotherPope. I want to forever tell my story of how GOD saved me from hell. Do a search on Jesus... Learn all you can about Him! He will lead you to a beautiful place that you will absolutely LOVE... 

GOD Bless US Everyone! IJCNA

The Spirit Of Good Direction

     I get really frustrated sometimes because some people are so closed minded. They refuse to see the whole picture. Therefore, they can only understand their own perspective. 

And I am not able to get in here and write all my thoughts. That upsets me too. 

I am consumed with the thoughts that I didn't have a good mother or dad. Why? I am slowly coming to terms with the truth. They just loved themselves more than they loved us kids. Kids shouldn't have to live like that. We learn what we live. Because I was beat till I would bleed as a kid, I married 3 men who abused me the same way, physically mentally and emotionally. This has been an issue my whole life.  I've had years of therapy which I don't go to anymore because the message is the same. It will never change. I can't go back and be unabused to teach me something different.

I am so grateful for my maternal grandparents; they were my only source of normalcy, and they took me to church. The best thing they could have done is they pointed me into the direction of Jesus, because with Jesus you get the Holy Ghost, which is the spirit of GOD that lives inside of you, and you walk and talk with GOD within your soul which leads you to a good way. 

As we look around, we see so many people abusing people and it's supposed to be OK. According to who? See this is the lesson GOD has been trying to teach us since the beginning of recorded knowledge. There is a right way and a wrong way. But too much today we are going against this basic knowledge. 

So much confusion in the air. And do you know who the author of confusion is? I can give you a hint, 'It's not GOD.'  You see GOD is not going to give you information to confuse you. When GOD tells you something you recognize our good Fathers voice as something good and helpful. GOD will not ever tell you to do something destructive. OK, that's so Old Testament. Christians don't go by the Old Testament it is meant to school us on the history of GOD. 

The Lord gave me a lesson today that I have never given much thought to before. That is that GOD doesn't go by religions. Men go by religions. Not saying religions are bad... If you are going to a certain church or temple or mosque or synagogue and you are happy with the good people there, it's really a good thing! 

But what GOD goes by since the death of Jesus, is within you. GOD will tell you when something is wrong. But you must be very careful because the devil also gives you thoughts. 

Since Jesus was the final sacrifice for sin, we no longer sacrifice for sin. We rehabilitate! And always, GOD will help you to do better. Do better than what? You ask?   I'm talking about not doing the things that you are used to. Not living like animals in a dog-eat-dog world.  

This is what GOD has been trying to help us do since HE started trying to HELP US do better. 

All of our problems we bring on ourselves when we don't follow GODS good guidance.

Can you imagine... I doubt it... but can you imagine the state of the world if we could get rid of arrogance and lies and selfishness? What if there was only LOVE in the world? There would be no divorce and no hate or revenge. Revenge is mine sayeth the Lord!

GOD warns us against gluttony and adultery... can you imagine with me a world without the illnesses of obesity and the destruction of families?

Everyone wants to find a scapegoat. No one wants to take responsibility for their own actions! 

Oh, and there's so much more!

Why do people complain about not being able to breath when they've chosen to smoke the last 50 years??? When I was a kid, we saw on the TV it was cool to smoke, we had really cool commercials encouraging us to smoke.  And I did! But GOD helped me quit smoking before I hit 21! And praise GOD for that because I don't have the COPD or cancer or the bronchial and lung problems, I'm seeing in other people my age. 

Yes, GOD has over the years helped me to do better and that is why I get so frustrated with other people still following bad advice. GOD tries to warn us and help us to have a better life. 

Now I can't ever go back and have a better life. I will always have memories of being beaten and abused and neglected. Like I tell people, "He was never my dad, he was always someone else's dad." I was his second child and he had 8 more with other women. You see that is a great example of how people make selfish choices. He and my mother should have worked it out. Kept the family together. This is an issue concerning the lusts of the flesh that GOD tries to tell us to avoid. 

It's so very important that we don't look outwards for GOD... we must find GOD within US to help us to do better. 

And look at all the craziness in the world today! Now we are the abusers when we try to tell others this basic truth. "Look, it's not healthy to carry that much weight. You should really lose weight; you will feel better!" ... Oh no... now we are fat shaming!!! We are being attacked for trying to give out the good news... the best advice. 

Look, Jesus is not going to drop out of the sky... Jesus will be coming when we all know the truth of HIM. Every knee shall bow, and every heart will confess that Jesus is the way the truth and the life! LOVE and TRUTH is the way to live! Hate and lies will only cause destruction of our souls... yes, the 2nd death... which is death of the spirit! What a waste of a life.

All we need is for all to look towards Jesus for the answers in life. 

This Holy Ghost is promised to all who seek HIM!

Let's get it together people, for the children's sake!

For Christ's sake!

GOD Bless US Everyone! IJCNA