Last Night

 About 1:30am I woke to the sound of shattered glass.

By the time I got to the bedroom door I could see a fight going on in the hall. 

My BD was being attacked by his homeless, drunk, drugged up so called friend. The fight came in on me, and I fell backwards and he scrambled behind me. I was shocked! What kind of man hides behind a woman? 

The psycho started going after my daughter and she and her daughter were struggling to hold her bedroom door shut... and from somewhere deep inside something drew up in me and I can't even remember the words, something like... "Get out of my house, what did I ever do to you that made you come into MY house and do this?" As he's backing up, I can see the destruction all around me, tables flipped over, things broken and scattered around.

 He's screaming back at me name calling... I don't even remember it all... It was all so crazy! I was expecting him to attack me too, we were nose to nose... me being firm with my words... Get out of my house... I was walking on glass! And I kept repeating the words as he stumbled and slipped out the broken back door, or what was left of it. It was completely shattered all over the ground. 

I am a peace-loving nonviolent person!

As far back as I can remember there has been violence and destruction. Anger, hate and meanness. I survived it only to still be subjected to this! It was 2 demons fighting... two of the same dark spirits trying to be top demon. Sorta like the Shiites and the Sunnis... same people... but with labels and hatred leading them. 

I don't know what makes people like that. I grew up knowing that I never wanted to be a part of that sort of life. I loved the peace and love that I felt at my maternal grandparents. I wake up with a good purpose; I strive to do the right thing. And the right thing is not to go to someone's house and start attacking them and destroying their stuff.

I was up most of the night cleaning up the disaster that was given to me. I slept a little because I was so tired, but it was hard to go to sleep with the back door wide open. My daughter and her daughter went to a real friend's house to sleep. I was up early cleaning up, I just know we have to keep on keeping on. No matter what happens we keep going.

I remember what I was feeling when I was staring into the eyes of Satan, and I am still struggling to figure it all out, because it wasn't fear or anger... it was a sense of calm... the strength of the power of GOD within me! I tell ya, you learn something new every day. 

You never know what you've got until it comes to the reality of it. 

By all means that man could have beat me down too. 

But he couldn't actually touch me because his spirit saw the spirit of the most highest strength holding my hand. He knew the best thing for him to do was to get the hell out of there! "if y'all call the police I'll come back and kill all y'all" he screamed at us going out the door. 

My daughter already had them on the phone!

I believe that in the new earth we won't be troubled with people like him, or the sort of people who go stop traffic in the streets to protest this or that and then freak out when they get run over! These people harbor demons that we can't see except with the eyes of the spirit! They choose in their minds to be stupid! They act without thinking.

I think it was Socrates who said, 'an unexamined life is not worth living.'

It's a waste of time to step out when you don't have a clue about what's going on. 

Pay attention to all the facts. Look at the consequences to everything! 

Keep straight. Be strong. And know from where your true power comes!

GOD Help US, Everyone!

IJCNA

Like A Duck

 I have really been struggling the past few days... But hey I've been struggling all my life. 

I'm good at being a survivor!

This past week I've had a few friends tell me that the demons go after the ones who are closest to being a threat to them. Yeah... you betcha, they have their hands full here. 

But I have been doing some things wrong. Hard to believe huh? lol

I am so easy to walk away. But I've had to stand strong against the evil in this world. Y'all know I fight demons. And I'm pretty good at it, but here lately it's become worse... things are so messed up I'll never be able to comprehend it all, so immediately I have to give it to GOD... and I must confess, it made me feel hate... ohhh  yes...I hate people who are deliberately screwed up, and they are so narrow minded they can't see beyond their own noses! One person who is close to me for about 40 years... chose to live in the darkness. I hated so badly I was thinking 'just die already'... and then I realized that harboring hate was not the way I wanted to live. And I was so frustrated and I was so tired of all the BS I asked GOD to just take me... I honestly wanted to die to escape the madness. I didn't even want to hear the words of correction and comfort. I was done. I laid in the bed for 2 days... begging GOD to do this. I didn't even eat the first day... it was like a personal sacrifice for peace. I just want the promises of GOD... a life full of love and peace and joy! I've never had that. But I am asking GOD for that... Please GOD before I die let me have that love and peace and happiness that I see out there in most of the people in the world.

I don't really want to die; I just need relief. Gimme a break, cut me some slack! PLEASE!

My whole life has been a chaotic mess. I've made some bad choices. 

The whole thing is that we can learn to do better! 

It might be too late for me, but I can tell the children to hold onto the love of your youth... love them more than you love yourself! It reminds me of the story of people sitting around the eating table, with arms ill equipped to feed themselves... until they discover they can easily feed each other. There's more to the story but the gest of it is; we're supposed to be kind and helpful, making life better for all!

Another thing I have to deal with is a thing I learned to do a long time ago. Today I am focused on how to change it as it's become a go to habit for me... and that is when a narcissistic person starts talking crap to me about me... they call me stupid or an idiot or like my mother used to call me a parasite. I used to just be quiet and take it... but I have discovered that I can jump on the bandwagon and insult and berate and tear down myself. And guess what happens!?! They're shocked... they are expecting me to cower and cry... and I am like... doing a better job than they are at ripping me apart! Even though I don't believe a word that I say.  And you know what!?! They shut up because they can't believe their eyes! Yes, I'm crazy...

 But I don't think GOD likes me to do that either. But it's what I've learned to do. 

And I usually walk away and never look back. 

Today I'm not walking away, I'm walking through!

People in the world filled with hate... they have no clue that life is so much better filled with love and respect and peace and joyous happiness! GOD has given us all the instructions that we need. And to get to that beautiful place, you must go through Jesus... read Matthew Mark Luke and John first to know him... and he brings you to the Holy Spirit who leads you to GOD!

The knowledge is not new... wisdom has always been there; it's just that people turn their backs on the good things because hate and lust and greed and arrogance and ignorance leads them astray from the perfect will of GOD.

So, the moral of the story is when life gets you down and all the storms that surround... when the rains come a pouring down... be a duck... shake it off... the sun always shines on a new day!

GOD Bless US... Everyone! IJCNA

 

I don't think GOD liked that at all. I got flashes in my head of all the goodness that I shared.