Like A Duck

 I have really been struggling the past few days... But hey I've been struggling all my life. 

I'm good at being a survivor!

This past week I've had a few friends tell me that the demons go after the ones who are closest to being a threat to them. Yeah... you betcha, they have their hands full here. 

But I have been doing some things wrong. Hard to believe huh? lol

I am so easy to walk away. But I've had to stand strong against the evil in this world. Y'all know I fight demons. And I'm pretty good at it, but here lately it's become worse... things are so messed up I'll never be able to comprehend it all, so immediately I have to give it to GOD... and I must confess, it made me feel hate... ohhh  yes...I hate people who are deliberately screwed up, and they are so narrow minded they can't see beyond their own noses! One person who is close to me for about 40 years... chose to live in the darkness. I hated so badly I was thinking 'just die already'... and then I realized that harboring hate was not the way I wanted to live. And I was so frustrated and I was so tired of all the BS I asked GOD to just take me... I honestly wanted to die to escape the madness. I didn't even want to hear the words of correction and comfort. I was done. I laid in the bed for 2 days... begging GOD to do this. I didn't even eat the first day... it was like a personal sacrifice for peace. I just want the promises of GOD... a life full of love and peace and joy! I've never had that. But I am asking GOD for that... Please GOD before I die let me have that love and peace and happiness that I see out there in most of the people in the world.

I don't really want to die; I just need relief. Gimme a break, cut me some slack! PLEASE!

My whole life has been a chaotic mess. I've made some bad choices. 

The whole thing is that we can learn to do better! 

It might be too late for me, but I can tell the children to hold onto the love of your youth... love them more than you love yourself! It reminds me of the story of people sitting around the eating table, with arms ill equipped to feed themselves... until they discover they can easily feed each other. There's more to the story but the gest of it is; we're supposed to be kind and helpful, making life better for all!

Another thing I have to deal with is a thing I learned to do a long time ago. Today I am focused on how to change it as it's become a go to habit for me... and that is when a narcissistic person starts talking crap to me about me... they call me stupid or an idiot or like my mother used to call me a parasite. I used to just be quiet and take it... but I have discovered that I can jump on the bandwagon and insult and berate and tear down myself. And guess what happens!?! They're shocked... they are expecting me to cower and cry... and I am like... doing a better job than they are at ripping me apart! Even though I don't believe a word that I say.  And you know what!?! They shut up because they can't believe their eyes! Yes, I'm crazy...

 But I don't think GOD likes me to do that either. But it's what I've learned to do. 

And I usually walk away and never look back. 

Today I'm not walking away, I'm walking through!

People in the world filled with hate... they have no clue that life is so much better filled with love and respect and peace and joyous happiness! GOD has given us all the instructions that we need. And to get to that beautiful place, you must go through Jesus... read Matthew Mark Luke and John first to know him... and he brings you to the Holy Spirit who leads you to GOD!

The knowledge is not new... wisdom has always been there; it's just that people turn their backs on the good things because hate and lust and greed and arrogance and ignorance leads them astray from the perfect will of GOD.

So, the moral of the story is when life gets you down and all the storms that surround... when the rains come a pouring down... be a duck... shake it off... the sun always shines on a new day!

GOD Bless US... Everyone! IJCNA

 

I don't think GOD liked that at all. I got flashes in my head of all the goodness that I shared.