How Am I Doing Now?

I have never suffered in my life as much as I have suffered the past few weeks. Headaches, nausea, anxiety, restless legs, insomnia... and my hair is even falling out... I have slept about 5 and a half hours the past 6 days. Suicidal thoughts enter my head... muscles twitch in my neck, back, arms and stomach. CPS has caused more harm than they could ever know.

It is so hard for me to fathom, that some slit lickin lesbian, who likes to cut her girlfriend and suck her blood can call CPS with so many lies. With one truth, I am a pot smoker. Well, smoking a little pot sure was better than all the troubles I am having now. If I was a DR. I would lock me up in a place with a 24/7 watch. I am sure if anyone could see what I am going through would be SHOCKED and afraid for my life. I am ready to call the news stations and all the newspapers. And then I go back to the thought if I just end it now, it will be better. Why? Because some people just don't know what the hell they are doing.

How can CPS say that Joe cant be here because of past CPS history, when all the calls were unfounded and all the cases closed? How can they say, it doesn't matter, the call was made? How can they go off half cocked and ruin peoples lives to the point that they think that they would be better off dead?

I cannot survive another night like last night. Even I, as much as I love and depend on GOD, cannot live another night with all the tears and thoughts I have had racing through my head. I even got mad at GOD, for it seems as if HE has abandoned me, like Joe's dad abandoned us when CPS was called out here. Now in my heart, I know GOD has not abandoned me. I know HE has a purpose for all this, a plan even to help others who are lied against. And I sure wish it would all come out now, because I just don't want to live in this backwards world any longer. I haven't slept for days and the only way I got 3 and a half hours of sleep was when I took a double dose of Unisom. A single dose does not help me. I tried, but only slept for 90 minutes. And I popped up like a pop corn kernel, out of my bed. Tears always in my eyes, all red and swollen from tearful sleepless nights. Something has to be done. This is unreal. I have even thought of calling the cops and pointing a gun at them so they will shoot me. Easy enough.

But, I keep telling myself, just get through what they say to do, play their game just to get Joe back home. But then if I do that, I will have to lie about the situation. For if I told them the truth, it would cause more interest and more stupid people trying to fix something that was never broken. That is until someone with some brains comes across this situation and sees what has happened. It is totally unbelievable.

First call to CPS, made by a drunk friend who misunderstood my daughter. Second call to CPS, made by my X husband who was mad at me because I would not take him back. Third CPS call was made during IKE. That call made by an angry neighbor who had to stop their clean up after IKE to bring Joe to the front door, as we were going out the back looking for him. The last and final call, made by an angry lesbian who was seeking revenge for not being allowed in my house. IT MAKES NO SENSE! None of it does! Somebody somewhere PLEASE make some sense out of all this mess! I am begging you! I am a strong independent woman, but even I cannot change the world on my own.

A law suit? Not only against CPS but also against the people who misused the system to 'get even'. Defamation of character is a good start. How has this world gotten so corrupt that a child was taken out of a safe, loving, stable home, based on lies with motives of revenge?

Isn't this against the law???

OMG!

I had just posted The Taking of Joe Part 2... stepping out on faith, knowing that GOD is directing my path into the way that is always good. I had posted how hurt I was feeling. But thinking about the other day when we were out of power for almost 3 hours, and when the kids left, I was alone in the dark, feeling the heat of the room rising. What did I do? I got up, clipped my nails on my left hand, picked up my guitar and started playing and singing, I started playing the song I wrote, "Standing On The Word Of God". I sang with pure joy as I laid the problem in the hands of my Lord GOD! As soon as I finished the last strum, I started laughing at myself... and the lights came on!!!

I believe with all my heart that was a sure sign from GOD, that all will be well in the end...

And when I logged onto yahoo a few moments ago... one of my friends... had posted this poem to me... and again... As the tears streamed down my face... I just know... I believe with all my GOD given heart and soul... that it will all mean something. Thank you, my friend, for posting this little poem for me. You cannot imagine the full impact it has on my life, how much it means to me that I am again, told by a child of GOD that I am OK... I have a purpose in this life! I will never give up... because 'theres always hope with MotherPope'... *SMILE* I give all the glory to GOD, the God of Abraham and Noah, David, Job and Solomon and Rachel... and Joseph and Mary and Jesus Christ who was the final sacrifice!

7/21
Nancy Pope took a rope, encircled all the world with hope, Lived her life as lovers do, doing good for all who, Needed, wept or cried their plea, Nancy said “Come walk with me”, “Take my hand , together we”, Can make it all new and free.

The Taking of Joe. Part 2.

I am feeling overwhelmed. I am shaking all over. These quivvers are not something I like to deal with. I feel like I am on the edge of something. I have the paper needed downloaded to send in for a patent/ patent pending paper that SC Johnson wants. I am going at this life on my own, well alone with all the people in my life who have been so good and kind to me. Some close and some far away. I want to explode with the mixed burst of excitement and joy and pain, even as I am on the brink of tears about my precious grandson who I am thankful has not been taken into state custody. He is safe with my beautiful, wonderful friend who has taken him in like he was her own blood. I am also grateful that this incedent has made all the kids quit smoking. Well, quit smoking the THC. They both and all have taken to smoking those horrible cigerettes. I hate that so much. But I want to add here, that I never wanted my kids to smoke the stuff. I want them to be able to cope with life without drugs or alcohol. I am proud of them all, which includes people more than just my own blood children. I am not wanting to push anything on anyone. But I feel that in the USA we have the right to the freedom, to our own choice of what plants we can grow from a seed, for our personal heathfull benefit. After doing many other drugs, this THC is the only thing that has afforded me without medical cost to get through those moments when anxiety tries to rear its raging head within me. I have suffered so much in the past, but this situation, has just got me physically hurting, so that, if I had medical coverage, I would take myself to the nearest emergency room with a breakdown. Which as I sit here, I am shaking from all the stress.


I NEED HELP!
In this backwards world we live in, this communistic like society, where lies upon lies corrupt the truth and innocent people suffer from gustapo tactics, words cannot express enough how wrong all of this is. Please read my story... this whole world is going to hell in a handbasket!
How can it be, that a healthy happy child is taken from a healthy happy home where he is dearly loved and top priority?

http://www.poetry.com/poets/MotherPope.html <<< This is me...
http://motherpope.blogspot.com/ <<< this is my story, 'THE TAKING OF JOE'
My mothers words;
Travesty
A little boy, age 2½, cringes, screaming, against a corner wall. He does not know where he is, and he’s seen his great-grandmother only three times in his short life. All he knows is that he wants to go home and be with his Mommy and Daddy and his Nanny. Mommy and Daddy have gone and left him here with his great-grandmother. It is bedtime and she is trying to put him to bed. She has to pull him from the corner and carry him, kicking and screaming, and put him in a strange bed he’s never slept in before. ‘Where is his Mommy?’, he wonders, calling and sobbing. ‘Where is his Daddy? Why has he been taken from the only home he’s ever known and placed with his Gam-Gam? Why can’t he go home?’The little boy’s Mommy cries sobbing tears as she has to leave her baby son with Gam-Gam. She knows Gam-Gam loves him and will take care of him, but she wants her baby at home with her. The strange woman said Mommy did something wrong and her boy had to go stay in another home until she took some parenting classes and some alcohol/drug classes. What terrible crime did the young mother commit to have this traumatic thing done to her? The awful crime she committed was that she used a bit of marijuana to help her cope with her busy day and attend to her small son. She’s a very good mother to him. She goes to school and is a senior this year. She spends lots of time with her baby, teaching him, playing with him, keeping him healthy and feeding him properly. He can count to 19, and he knows his ABCs. He always has clean clothes to wear and good shoes to put on his feet. There is not a mark on his beautiful little body. Is this a sign of an abused child from a druggie home?? But yet, the stigma has been applied because a so-called “friend” got mad at the young mother and called CPS on her for spite. The strange people came and said she broke the law, and the child would have to be removed from the home.And why is using marijuana against the law? Because the GOVERNMENT HAS NOT FIGURED OUT A WAY TO CONTROL IT AND TAX IT YET!! Because of a stupid law against a natural herb that Nature put on this earth for people to use for their health, a 2½-year-old boy is traumatized, virtually ripped from his home and his family, and cannot go back until his Mommy completes classes to teach her how to be a good parent…something she’s already been for 2½ years. Every night the boy sobs and cries for his Mommy and Daddy. He watches out the window, saying, “Daddy will come get me. Mommy will come get me and take me home.” His Gam-Gam watches with a heart that’s being ripped from her chest and tries to tell him that Mommy’s in school and Daddy’s at work, and they’ll come get him as soon as they can. Is this what our country and our law is all about? Terrorizing and traumatizing small children? Breaking up good homes? If so, then I am TOTALLY ASHAMED of my country and my government! How much more damage has the government done to this baby boy and his young parents with its idiotic law than using a bit of marijuana to ease stress! It is insane! I’m sure most of the people reading this either smoke marijuana or have tried it. It is highly overrated, and only eases stress at best, if even that.What about the children who actually live in crack houses? The children who are truly abused, beaten, sick and aren’t taken for medical care? What about the children who don’t get enough food to eat because their parents spent all the money on heroin? Where the hell is CPS when that kind of behavior is going on? I’ll tell you where they are…they’re jerking a perfectly healthy, bright, intelligent, well-cared-for boy out of his home and away from his parents. His parents aren’t drug addicts or drug dealers. They’re not drunks or alcoholics. They are bright, educated, hard-working, ethical young people who want to raise their small son in the best way they know how. And a tired young mother is punished and loses her child because she took a natural herb to give her a little more strength to cope with her beautiful active son. What the law did in this case is WRONG! SHAME ON THIS GOVERNMENT!!