MotherPope

Blessed by GOD, to be loud and proud of what is good and right and true! GOD bless us, Everyone! IJCNA

Monday, July 27, 2009

How Am I Doing Now?

I have never suffered in my life as much as I have suffered the past few weeks. Headaches, nausea, anxiety, restless legs, insomnia... and my hair is even falling out... I have slept about 5 and a half hours the past 6 days. Suicidal thoughts enter my head... muscles twitch in my neck, back, arms and stomach. CPS has caused more harm than they could ever know.

It is so hard for me to fathom, that some slit lickin lesbian, who likes to cut her girlfriend and suck her blood can call CPS with so many lies. With one truth, I am a pot smoker. Well, smoking a little pot sure was better than all the troubles I am having now. If I was a DR. I would lock me up in a place with a 24/7 watch. I am sure if anyone could see what I am going through would be SHOCKED and afraid for my life. I am ready to call the news stations and all the newspapers. And then I go back to the thought if I just end it now, it will be better. Why? Because some people just don't know what the hell they are doing.

How can CPS say that Joe cant be here because of past CPS history, when all the calls were unfounded and all the cases closed? How can they say, it doesn't matter, the call was made? How can they go off half cocked and ruin peoples lives to the point that they think that they would be better off dead?

I cannot survive another night like last night. Even I, as much as I love and depend on GOD, cannot live another night with all the tears and thoughts I have had racing through my head. I even got mad at GOD, for it seems as if HE has abandoned me, like Joe's dad abandoned us when CPS was called out here. Now in my heart, I know GOD has not abandoned me. I know HE has a purpose for all this, a plan even to help others who are lied against. And I sure wish it would all come out now, because I just don't want to live in this backwards world any longer. I haven't slept for days and the only way I got 3 and a half hours of sleep was when I took a double dose of Unisom. A single dose does not help me. I tried, but only slept for 90 minutes. And I popped up like a pop corn kernel, out of my bed. Tears always in my eyes, all red and swollen from tearful sleepless nights. Something has to be done. This is unreal. I have even thought of calling the cops and pointing a gun at them so they will shoot me. Easy enough.

But, I keep telling myself, just get through what they say to do, play their game just to get Joe back home. But then if I do that, I will have to lie about the situation. For if I told them the truth, it would cause more interest and more stupid people trying to fix something that was never broken. That is until someone with some brains comes across this situation and sees what has happened. It is totally unbelievable.

First call to CPS, made by a drunk friend who misunderstood my daughter. Second call to CPS, made by my X husband who was mad at me because I would not take him back. Third CPS call was made during IKE. That call made by an angry neighbor who had to stop their clean up after IKE to bring Joe to the front door, as we were going out the back looking for him. The last and final call, made by an angry lesbian who was seeking revenge for not being allowed in my house. IT MAKES NO SENSE! None of it does! Somebody somewhere PLEASE make some sense out of all this mess! I am begging you! I am a strong independent woman, but even I cannot change the world on my own.

A law suit? Not only against CPS but also against the people who misused the system to 'get even'. Defamation of character is a good start. How has this world gotten so corrupt that a child was taken out of a safe, loving, stable home, based on lies with motives of revenge?

Isn't this against the law???

1 Comments:

  • At 1:57 PM, Blogger Juanita said…

    Nancy,
    I was raised to believe if you take your own life you will not be able to go to heaven. Please stop thinking this way because when we die I want to see you there in the Kingdom :)
    I know this is so very hard for you and your family, but you always tell me when I am having problems with my kids "this too shall pass" and it does.
    Hang in there, you have a lot of support from friends willing to do anything to help you.
    I would even go on the news with you.
    Ths system is screwed up, they do not care if Joe was well cared for and NOT being abused, if anything he is spoiled rotten ;)
    It is all a money game.
    And the funny thing is they don't even check out the people they give your children to, sad isn't it??

    Psalm 34:18
    The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit

    Proverbs 15:29
    The LORD is far from the wicked but he hears the prayer of the rrighteous.

    1 Peter 3:14
    But even if you should suffer for what is right, you are blessed. "Do not fear what they fear ; do not be frightened."

    Deuteronomy 31:6
    Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you."

    Numbers 6:24-26
    "The LORD bless you and keep you;the LORD make his face shine upon you and be gracious to you; the LORD turn his face toward you and give you peace."

    Psalm 121:7-8
    The LORD will keep you from all harm— he will watch over your life; the LORD will watch over your coming and going both now and forevermore.

    Nahum 1:7
    The LORD is good, a refuge in times of trouble. He cares for those who trust in him

    Psalm 138:7
    Though I walk in the midst of trouble, you preserve my life; you stretch out your hand against the anger of my foes, with your right hand you save me.

    Proverbs 14:32
    When calamity comes, the wicked are brought down, but even in death the righteous have a refuge.

     

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