My Knowing

This is something I have wanted to write about for a long time. It is something that has always been strange to me. But I realized when Jennifer Hudson's family was recently murdered I still had the juice, as in I knew that the perp was someone close to her. Someone she knew, but didn't know their inner persona. So I want to talk about it.

The first time I noticed I knew things that I shouldn't, was back before my son was born. It was around 1983. I was living with my first husband in Saracuse, Missouri. It was a very small town, population 222, SALUTE! I had become friends with the lady at the post office, her name was Joanne. She had 5 children. She was really nice and I would visit her at the post office most days. We lived in a rent house in the middle of a field, close to town. Sometimes I would play my music and would sing out loud and the people could hear me all the way to town. And people were talking about the singing girl. They wanted me to go sing in a local band, but my father in law, told his son, my husband, that if I did that it would put me 'in the world' and they didn't want that.

One day, Joanne told me her husband was missing. Had been missing for about 6 weeks. She was so worried. We all were. That night, GOD told me to go tell her NOT TO WORRY BECAUSE HER HUSBAND WAS OK AND WAS GOING TO CALL HER. I argued with GOD for 3 nights. I told HIM I didn't want to get involved with things I didn't understand. But GOD said HE would take care of it. I argued and argued, thinking I was going to look like an idiot, worried about my reputation as a sane woman. But in the end after not being able to sleep for 3 nights, the 4th morning I told GOD I would go tell her. I got dressed and went down to the post office and told her, "Joanne, I know this is going to sound crazy, but GOD has bothered me so much about it, I have to tell you." She smiled. I continued. "GOD told me to tell you not to worry because your husband is OK and he is going to call you."

And as soon as I had spoken those words, the phone rang! We both looked at each other and laughed at the coincidence, neither one believing it was really him. I can still see her in my mind today, as she walked over to the desk and picked up the phone. Within seconds she turned around slowly and the look on her face was of total shock. I was so freaked out I had to sit down right there on the floor of the post office, I was so in shock as well. We all were. After that I was known as the girl with the ESP.

I don't know how or why this happens, but I have very often known things I shouldn't know. I have tried to hide this in me because it is so strange. But the people in the church I was baptized in said it was a gift. All this can be documented by asking my XXX husband or finding Joanne or her friend, I forget her name, maybe it was Pat, but she covered for Joanne at the post office when she needed a day off. It wasn't really a surprise to the elders in the church because in the past, when the preacher would come around the room laying hands on us to see if any would prophesy, when he came to me, my mouth opened and the words came out like water. I don't remember to well the words that were spoken that day but it was all about just believing and having faith and taking action.

Throughout the years I have also enjoyed this hot line to GOD. Many times I would lay my hands on someones door and say a special prayer and GOD would always take care of business. My little sister can testify to this fact. Once, there was a woman across the courtyard who was a real brat. She had a little kid who was a brat as well. One day our puppy was out doing his business and this kid came up and kicked him. The puppy nipped back at him. (which when I got home later and the kid took off the band aid, there wasn't even a mark on him) But this woman called the city and the police came out and animal control had taken the puppy. It would of cost $75.00 to get him out. I had 4 kids at home at that time, I couldn't spend money on getting the puppy back when I was trying to pay bills and buy food. This woman and I also fought in the courtyard about it later. Not physical, but she was sure afraid. I wasn't going to hurt her, but she didn't know that... I just told her off. What a horrible person she was. These facts can also be remembered by my friend Juanita whose brother hung out with a guy who lived there in that apartment with this horrible woman.

Later when I realized I wasn't going to be able to fix this problem, I went and laid hands on her apartment door. I said a special prayer and told GOD since I couldn't do anything, I knew HE could. I asked HIM to take care of this issue in HIS own way. Finishing up, I went back into my apartment. Next thing I knew, as I was taking out my garbage, I overheard her complaining in her apartment with the windows open. They were open because their central AC went out! Also, their prized Camero broke down and they had to redo the whole engine. Their dog and furniture was infested with fleas and their family with head lice. The worst that happened was the father in the house died. I didn't choose these things, nor did I ask GOD to do these things specifically, GOD chose these problems.

A year or so later, when a woman at my job accused me of stealing the football pot, which she always did when she wanted someone fired, as she was head bartender and I had heard she wanted me fired. I went to the boss and told him I would never do anything like that... but he believed her. When he went inside, I laid my hands on the door of the club and asked GOD to take care of this issue. Later, I found out, he had a heart attack, he lost his business and his wife left him.

So I don't mess with GOD, I have seen HIS powers first hand. I am HIS child and trust HIM.

Now a days, I am glad that I have this HOT LINE to GOD! I am used to knowing things that I shouldn't. Most of the time, I only use this information for myself. It is a good thing when people try to lie to me, I always know. Sometimes I want to be in denial. Sometimes it is to hard for me to handle. For the most part I just file things away.

Another way this affects me is when I get to close to people in public. When I brush up against them. Because, I get flashes of their spirit. Most of the time, I see a good person, but sometimes I see very BAD ones, this is really hard for me to deal with and for the most part, I want to stay away from people so I don't have to deal with it. But I now know that these things can help me in my life. These things are a blessing! I just have to learn to use it the best that I can.

The part that bothers me the most is, I don't want to deal with some of the things. Sometimes I have hit my own head, wondering WHY are these things put inside MY head?

I don't have the answer. I am not sure. But my guess would be that GOD knew I would be able to handle it. I would also be able to help people in ways ordinary people cant.

Sometimes I wish I could help more people. Maybe as I get older I can. Maybe after my kids grow up I will have the time to concentrate on some good projects!

I believe the best is yet to be... for me. That is why GOD made me MOTHERPOPE!

*SMILE*