Death Among Us

 I've been wrestling in my head on which thing to write about. And I get mad at myself when I go take a nap when I need to get up in here and write, but in my defense the last month I have worked every day, 2 times a day, because one of the women had to have brain surgery and I picked up her hours. I am not kidding. But it has been good in a way, I proved to myself that I could do it! U see, I was so quick to say I couldn't do it in the beginning. Oh yes, I told them to find another person because I couldn't do it. But then as the days passed, GOD told me I could do it. Ugh... really?!? 4 to 6 weeks!?! We're at the 4 weeks mark already. I'm tired! I take care of a quadriplegic; I get up and walk to her house and I work hard to get her up, it's a whole process and I use a lot of muscles, and I tell you I am sweating bullets every day! I do what she would do if she had the use of her arms and legs. So, I'm tired at the end of my shift, but then 5 hours later I go back to feed her and put her to bed. Usually, I have some nights and 2 days off a week; to do the stuff I need to do at my house. but we are over 4 weeks of days and nights and that's why I have sometimes chosen to take a nap instead of coming here and writing my thoughts. And they are piling up in my head, so I am grateful to be able to come in here today.

I've had a rough time of it of late, first... Charlie Kirk was murdered on the 10th and then on the 12 my brother was found dead on the floor of his bedroom and then on the 16... my first LOVE died of a heart attack... I feel like I have been punched in the gut. 3 times. I sort of feel numb, having to deal with it all is too much. 

Charlie Kirk was a true man of GOD... speaking truth even when it was hard to. Believe me, it's much easier to be silent. I have done the same and have learned to just speak the truth and let GOD take care of the rest. But too often I don't say anything. Like I said its easier that way. Charlie was a great man! The world took a huge blow the day Charlie Kirk died. Thank GOD that I have seen other people standing up where he left off and that is the SPIRIT of GOD moving among us!

My brother... the world will never miss because he suffered from depression and hid himself away. I did love him so much, he was such a gentle soul, but he lived way out in the boonies, and I rarely saw him. He was bothered by demons. I think he lost the will to fight them. I am a firm believer of fighting our demons, it's a hard life, but sometimes we just got to do it! GOD always sees us through it!

My 1st LOVE... the reason it bothers me so much is because of the way I did him. We met, I was 13 and he was 14. Oh, wow it was the greatest moment ever and we had a couple great years together, we both loved each other, he was my first love, and I was his. Oh, wow we were really close. Life was perfect! I was so happy! Then one day my mother sent me to my dad's, far away, at least a couple of hours down the interstate.  Time passed and he got another girlfriend. Looking back, I understand it better. I don't blame him. I blame myself, I should have waited for him and after school he would have come back, but I did something terrible, advice my mother gave me, I dated his best friend for a few weeks and then left town. Ugh... NOT what GOD wanted me to do, I know. And believe me I suffered dearly for it. But 30 years later I was able to apologize. But you know, you can never go back and change things. That is why it is so important to follow GOD and stay in love with the love of your youth. GOD IS LOVE. LOVE one another. I think the most important thing is that in your own heart the other person is more important than yourself. 

Read your Bible, follow the SPIRIT... 

Share what you learn and what you experience.

And KNOW that GOD IS GOOD, emulate Jesus and... 

GOD Bless US Everyone! IJCNA