CPS Update

If I was to blow my brains out, CPS would be the motivation for me to pull that trigger!

I find it hard to sleep at nights knowing what is going on.

And as usual... no one is there for me. I thought we had finally gotten a good worker, they change the people all the time. And I think that lady was a good person... its the ones hiding in the office that pull her strings that is the problem. So I don't hold anything against the city as a whole... we have a great city! Its just that some of the people are corrupt! And are we not supposed to stand up against the corruption of people in high places?

But...

I feel in my heart that my hero will be here soon. I just must hold the course...

Sing my songs... and Jesus will come to help me along.

So my daughter has passed 3 drug tests... all negative. But it seems the problem they are having is with me! I am supposing they think that my god, is the weed!

Now, all who know me, know exactly what and who my god is... and today I am feeling a little like Job... The stress is terrible, its killing me... and yes, at night when I cant sleep I do want to put an end to it all, but that's not me. I believe that GOD will come and fix it all through the angels... and who knows... maybe GOD wants to use this problem to fix a host of serious problems within the system.

Like the fact that CPS has totally destroyed my daughters life... and mine too since I am apart of my daughters life... and I am having a serious problem with it, because it affects the whole family. I wrestle with the thought of calling a lawyer and suing CPS and the people who are lying to them! But I am not the suing type... but if the spirit moves someone to sue them then I will go along with it. Because this is the most absurd situation ever and everyone agrees... and I know it is so, especially after what I witnessed yesterday!

I am an advocate for legalizing the weed that grows from a seed and fulfills a need!

Because, in the beginning... the very first chapter of Genesis... tells me that everything that comes from a seed is a gift from GOD and it is for our good use! Gen 1. v. 29

I have done a lot in my years... and have even been on meds from the Dr for the depression and anxiety... because I grew up in hell, I still have some problems with anxiety and panic attacks. And really, I don't like the meds they put me on after I was found with a gun in my mouth back in 87' ... I want to hold onto my natural mind... I want to always be able to handle a situation... not laying up in the bed or the couch all medicated by mens chemicals... no... the thing that helps me the most is to go into my bathroom with my box... and I can be so much better within minutes! ... Short minutes! Like 2 minutes!

And, GOD is my Dr... nature helps me in ways that nothing else can! I choose not to drink alcohol.. I choose not to smoke cigarettes...

I choose HOME and FAMILY over anything else in my life...

So, CPS wont let the kids come here because I refuse to take a drug test, even tho the mother has passed 3 drug tests...  OMG... those people have been in my life since 1988... the first time someone said my son was outside spraying himself with bug spray... and as a matter of fact, a couple days previous to that, a neighbor lady got me drunk and tried to molest me... thank GOD she didn't do it... but my rejection insulted her... I believe that was the beginning of my CPS horrors... and the very few times over the years, I have always told the women "yes, I am a pot smoker, but it isn't here in the house... I never make it apart of the kids life"... and I never had a problem, they could see the children were all good and safe and loved... so no problems.

I hid it from the children as long as I could. And when they were old enough to understand, I asked them if I was a bad mother because of it and they said NO... If they would of said yes, I would of stopped for them there and then.   I have always put my kids above everything... pot... men... I would even give up my food for them when they asked for it! I slept on the floor for over a month so my daughter could have a bed... PLEASE... these people have no clue what sort of person I am.

And yet they want to judge...

For the last 12 years the 2 things that I have argued with my daughter the most about is... going to school... and not smoking when she was pregnant. We fought and fought... I would hear rumors and she would lie to me about it. I guess she never knew the depth of her ignorance until they found THC in the babies poop and came and ripped her crying children out of her arms... and even today, I remind her that if she had listened to her mother, this would of never happened.

I have stopped telling her this, it just seems to add to the pain.

But, I am a bit angry and disturbed that my daughter was weak and smoked when she shouldn't of... but this is NO REASON to take all her kids away from her, or kick her out of her home!

The laws are changing all across the USA...

I could understand if she had more drugs in her system... which by the way when the woman came here to the door last month wanting to settle things... she found a paper in my daughters file that had the results of another persons test on it and there was more drugs on that one... I am wondering HOW that paper got put in my daughters file... and WHY... but the worker quickly tore it up and put it in her pocket.

And now the boys are with their dad, who IS an actual 2 time drug felon... and...

I have never been in trouble... but I can't be around the children... and the boys dad is corrupt and is using evil means to betray us... you see, he used to bring the weed into the house when he was living here... and he knew I would share it with my old lady friends... and so he twisted that into me being a drug dealer... and now CPS is calling around to neighbors asking about that...this is embarrassing.

And here's news... no one wants to get in the middle of this mess... of all the people I know... and my daughter knows... there is none who want her moving in with them... not because they hate her... we all really do feel sorry for her, because if she would of just quit while she was pregnant... this wouldn't of happened. Why should I coddle her when she defied me? She is almost 24 years old!

The thing that confuses me the most... is I have lived here for over 20 years... I have smoked pot since 1972... I have never been in trouble and I raised up decent kids, who have never gotten in trouble... well, my daughter was with a thief once and stole some underwear valued $15.00, from a big chain of department stores...  but she was a minor and got it wiped clean by a judge who understood her and gave her another chance. And she has not done anything like that again.

There has never ever been abuse or neglect ever... but I guess they think I am a pot head sitting around with a big tray of weed and a never ending supply of munchies... that might happen with the rich kids, but I have to much to do in my life. And I would certainly not leave it laying around for the kids to get into! See? They think I am stupid!

My life consists of taking care of all the ones who need it... I do about 10 loads of laundry a week and only 1 load is mine... I do dishes and wake up kids and get them to school... I am involved daily with the children... uhhh... except my daughters kids... cause I am not good enough to be around them... according to CPS.

Another of their concerns... is who lives here and everyone must take drug tests. Now WHY should I take a drug test when my children are all grown and all I provide is a home and love to them?

I have for the past few years dreamed of creating a MotherPopes Place that works with the police and social services... where women and children can come when needed... but no drugs or alcohol and all must chip in to clean... and then I realized... that is what I have now... and I maintain control these days of things that go on. I don't mind helping people who want to help themselves. And I am not going to let CPS come in and dictate to me who can be here and who cannot, when there has been no charges or incident!

And here is the worst of the worst... and the BIG reason why I am posting this here today... and the reason I will fight to the death for this issue... and I am crying everyday about it... and I hope you people help me spread my story!

When CPS came and took my daughters kids... she was simply, a slightly lazy, pot smoker... who did her stuff and took care of school and her kids... but... now... she is NOT a pot smoker... but the Doctors now have her on Prozac, Klonipin... and Ambian... and something with codeine for pain... and that is A-OK with CPS... now if she can just find a place that wants to take her in... since she's not allowed to stay in her safe secure home and have her children.

But yet... as a mother I feel like she needs to stay here where I can watch out for her because she is now in such a doped up stooper.  I am worried about her... on her meds, she doesn't care about anything... and she talks about how much better things would be if she would die. And this is alarming to me. She is not eating and losing weight everyday... and if she decides to take her life... you can bet the whole world will know it was the fault of CPS in the city of Houston, Texas! I declare here and now today this is my true and right statement.

I would give anything for my regular pot smoking daughter back.