Now She's Dead

It started Monday night. We got a call from a friend who asked if we could babysit. Well, my daughter has her little daughter and its no trouble, we love the little boy. I was told the boys mother was in the hospital. I didn't know what to think, because I have never met the mother. Had heard enough about her to know that we would have nothing in common. I only know the father and the son. So he comes over at 5:30AM. And it was a strange morning for me... I had to make 3 trips to the school to get all the kids there because they were not all ready at the right time... and I am like "y'all need to get your stuff ready the night before, that way you won't be scrambling around at the last minute looking for socks or shoes".

I came home climbed back in bed to try and 'wake up on the other side'...  that's when I got the call. The little boys mother had died. His dad was coming to get him. When the dad got in the house he and my daughter fell on the floor crying together... my daughter knew the little boys mother... we were told she died of a drug overdose. And my daughters daughters daddy had also died of a drug over dose. They had that common pain.

All I could do was sit there and think... and it was hard dealing with my thoughts... of...

"Well, at least the boy won't have to grow up with a drug addict for a mother."

I had heard of the struggles the dad had been having with her and drugs. He would give her money for something for the house and she would go buy 'heroin'... that was what she died of... Heroin overdose.  I have never done heroin and I have never hung around people who did heroin. But I do know that it's a bad thing... that we shouldn't do. And we shouldn't get caught up with people who do it.

My focus for most of my life has been about the children.

For such is the Kingdom of Heaven...

So I had a very hard time dealing with the truth that I was seeing. I didn't know how to deal with the sense of 'relief for the family'... not just the boy and his dad... but the dead womans parents. They have suffered her antics for years. She had stolen things from them and had stolen lots of money.

When I think about all the time that they spent worrying about her.

Praying for her.

She never got away from it. Her attitude was like that of most addicts. They are raging without the drug. They are so addicted that they will go nuts without it.

I thank GOD for the ability to keep a straight head. Yes, I am a casual 'pot smoker'... it is natural... comes from a seed. GOD gave it to us for a reason.. and my reason is, it helps with anxiety. But I can still maintain common sense.

I have never understood why alcohol was legal when it messed up your head so bad... you cant see straight or think straight. You can't maintain and sometimes you throw up. Why is that legal when this natural herb is illegal? Our country made a huge mistake when they made the marijuana illegal. It doesn't make you do any of the crazy things that the alcohol and chemical drugs do... most your gonna have at the end of a night of smoking pot is a food feast! And then really good sleep.

When I look at these people who sell their soul for Satan to appease their bodies...

You know that is one of the things that GOD trys to tell us.

We shouldn't be so self serving to our bodies.

GOD calls it 'Feeding the flesh'... giving in to the lusts of the flesh. Doing the bad thing to your body because... of what? Fun?

Throwing up in somebodies toilet is not my idea of a night of fun.

So you feed your flesh the things that it demands... not thinking about the consequences.

And this is what the mother of this little boy did. She was subservient to the drug. And it killed her. She was found on the bathroom floor with a needle hanging out of her arm. Lost in her sin.

I always see things for what they really are.

The relief knowing that she will never worry her family anymore...

Not having to worry about all the money going down with each heroin fix.

Not having to worry about her going over into the 5th ward to fulfill her need.

Not having to worry about how she treated her child when high on the speed.

Not having to see her go into violent rages when she was out and wanted some more. And...

Not having to deal with the sudden panic and anxiety as you scramble to find her some money so she can go get what makes her happy. Because you see...

It wasn't GOD or the LOVE of a child or the love of a parent or sibling or even the love of her babies daddy... none of that meant anything to her. She put the drug above GOD and LOVE.

Imagine the difference her choice could of made.

Imagine if she would of made the right choices and made 'home and family' her top priority! And how good it could of been to love the child more than anything... teaching him the things he needed to know. Because you see, he was way behind in his progress because he just played on the ground while she did her thing.

And think about loving her parents and never stealing the Christmas money... and being there for her family when they could of been having those 'good times' she missed out on by making the drug her top priority.

Think about all the money she could of had to go on vacations or upgrade the TV or the furniture or the refrigerator. Or just being able to buy what you want when you see it on sale!

She missed out on all of that, with all her money going down the drain... not just on heroin but also on wine and cigarettes.

So it is RELIEF that I feel... Relief knowing she lived and she died... with nothing but her addiction and the power it had over her, to speak of. The elders in the Church call them demons... they attack you and if you let them in they are very strong influences and you do end up doing what they want you to do... and they are going to make you do things that are not good for you... and not good for your 'home and family'!

GOD is all about LIFE and LOVE...

And anything that disrupts or disturbs 'home and family' goes against the will of GOD.

We make our own choices...

She made hers... and of course GOD is there for the countdown. GOD gives out the good and the bad according to our choices. And that sounds a little harsh... but it is what it is.

I can only HOPE that you choose to stay away from these things and you learn not to hang around with people who drink to much alcohol and do drugs... because you know all their assets will go for their addiction. And also remember that its OK to drink a little bit... GOD gave us the alcohol to help us with our troubles... when you are faced with a special trial or test... maybe something work related... its OK to have a couple of drinks... it does help you to relax. But never let it be more important than GOD Who IS LOVE... Some people make the alcohol their GOD... they love and worship the alcohol... plan their lives and events around it.

I was sitting in a parking lot the other day, waiting for my sister in the Phone store. And I was facing a liqueur store. And I could see... the ones who were taking a small bottle home to sip. And the ones who were getting enough for an all nighter... There is a difference and you should know it.

Its OK to drink a couple drinks. But don't let it be the most important thing in your life.

Its all about home and family and self control.

Its all about the LOVE for EACH OTHER.

Its all about the look in the eye of a child as they are reaching to you for some hugs and kisses!

Its NOT about feeding your flesh to the point that you forget about the common SPIRIT OF GOD that keeps US strong and happy together.

You know most family problems begin because someone is out of line... out of control... disrespecting elders or stealing money for drugs... or hurting someone in some way. Drug addicts stealing pills from other family or friends and then lying about how they would never do something like that.

Do you see how messed up this is?

Its best if you don't get caught up with the things of the flesh... don't even get started on something that will take hold of you and destroy your life. It's the only one you have!

So, now this 30 year old mother... not only wasted her time on earth selfishly continuously helping her self to all the bad stuff she could get... and then she also wasted her death on something that can never be thought of as anything good. When she died... like that... selfishly rejecting the needs of others... you know... like her child... GOD will and did fix it.

So she will spend all eternity knowing how she wasted it. How she lost it... and how she neglected saving her soul. She didn't pay attention when GOD tried to tell her. And she can never go back and change it, forever knowing it could of been different.

Our goal is to avoid problems.

Be smart.

Don't get caught up in this trap of Satan.

You can do better with a clear mind!

I don't even know what to say about her...

RIP seems like... its not enough to help.

Lord GOD help US ALL to know and see and avoid... the snares of Satan.

IJCNA

*UPDATE*

     Yesterday morning we found out that the mothers mother was found dead on the kitchen floor. Now, I know that some of you might think that someone had it in for this family and saw to their deaths. But that is not the truth. We haven't gotten any official reports, but the 'ones in the know' say that the mother of the little boy was also supplying her mother with drugs. But also we know that she was seeing another man and was drinking pretty heavily.

You see how the results of our life come from our own personal choices? When the mothers daughter died... .she was unable to get the drugs her body became dependent on and it killed her. YES, there are some drugs out there that you are NOT supposed to go cold turkey off of.

On Friday, she had gone to the day care to pay for the little boys day care... the dad invited her over to meet his sister and spend some time, but she said 'she didn't feel well.'

Her daughter died on Tuesday morning... and she died on Saturday morning... the day of her daughters funeral. Everyone is devastated. I don't know how the Grandpa is doing, but I hear they are bikers. Now I am not categorizing bikers... I know people who are bikers... and they do not fit the label of 'The Biker, druggie, drinker, abuser. Altho' they do drink and get violent on the weekends.

You would think that he would be tough enough to handle it. But things are not always what they seem, I think he feels very broken, losing a daughter and a wife to drugs, in less than one week.

And I also see another druggie, who is devastated because they are seeing what drugs can do... and they are afraid... scared of their own demise under such a bad habit.

Can you see why Donald Trump taught his kids not to be drinkers or druggies???

And did you know that Richard Dawson, 'GOD rest his soul', also did not drink or do drugs?

It messes up not only your brain, it also messes up your life.

And hurts the people who love you.

I don't know the solution to a drug addicts problem. 12 Step Programs do work really well if they really want to quit. They don't work to well if one is forced to go. And of course the Churches have programs that help too. GOD can solve a multitude of sins!

But I do know that we can AVOID PROBLEMS with drinking and drugs if we choose to never start. If we can look and learn from other peoples mistakes... and see that we can do better!

I was thinking this morning, its not about situation... its about changes and choosing to learn from other peoples mistakes. Its about a good attitude towards life and fixing your problems. You see these days we can fix our problems, there are many people out there willing to help. Call out to GOD and GOD will send you someone... one of HIS angels... and you will get the help you need.

But PLEASE... in the first place... just know that the world is filled with both the good and the bad... and its up to us to find our way... if we are defiant and don't listen to our good parents, we are bound to learn our lesson in the world. (Which sends us crying, back to our good parents!)

If we have/had bad parents, I promise GOD will give you what you need to do better. We are not stuck just because our parents are/were... we can do better!

You know... that's what made me who I am today... my mother was not a good person... she was not a good mother... she never taught me about GOD... and I grew up watching her lie and cheat and steal... my step father he was a murderer... and what did I SEE???

I saw what I did NOT want to BE!

You too can do better... Shhhh be quiet and listen to GOD tell you to do GOOD for you and your family! I get so mad at people who create bad things for others to follow. Satan makes it FUN to do wrong. Others who are the devils minions... they laugh at you for being good... But guess who has the last laugh??? The winners... and people who follow evil... are losers. They always fail in the end.

But PEOPLE who choose to follow Jesus, learn to LOVE one another... and do GOOD to one another... its not about having fun fulfilling the fleshly desires... Its about the JOY and happiness of doing well and having the good results of that come show themselves 100 fold!

GOD is the answer... HE was here long long time before we got here.

HE has WISDOM...

We would do well to follow HIM!