The Almighty Dollar

I am struggling today... even pounding the key board.

Because I see perfectly good people become corrupted by worshiping money more than they worship GOD. This goes against the first commandment, where GOD says HE IS GOD and we should not have any other gods above or before HIM.

So many people have it confused and they refuse to fight the good fight of faith because they think that money is the root of all evil, truth is... money is not the root of all evil! Specifically THE LOVE OF MONEY is the root of all evil... Loving money more than you love GOD is the biggest mistake we could ever make.

Nothing should be more important than GOD and what you do for HIM... we are HIS vessels and we are supposed to live our lives in a way that is good, that GOD has told us so often about.

Corruption is selfish and devious...

Loving money more than anything else will cause you to become corrupt.

Families fight over money...

CPS keeps open cases against pot smokers... for the money...

I've seen people snatch money and run...

Its a horrible thing when some people will do mean... horrible things for money.

Money is a good tool... a GREAT tool since bartering was not cutting it. It would be nice to be able to barter for all we need and want... but it is impossible for the average person. We need a token to hold onto and have when you need something, or want something.

So crazy... some people murder for money.

Money cannot buy you happiness, but money can make you happy when you have it for what you want when you want it! Its nice to have money when your car breaks down or your hungry and want to get some food. Sure you can get food at the Church... I know, that when things are low... we can always go to the Church and they always help us. But it would be so much more comforting to have the money in my pocket to go to the store and buy my own stuff.

Its depressing to say the least. But its a real part of my story.

I am so grateful for what I do have. Some people say, "go get food stamps, you qualify"... and they are right, at 16 to 22 grand a year as income we do certainly qualify. And some may snidely remark that I am causing myself extra stress...  I should get on government assistance.

But for the life of me I cant bring myself to do it. I would rather eat oatmeal and rice and beans every day than get on the government dole. I was on government assistance for 2 years after I got pregnant and lost my job. And it was a horrible feeling. And as soon as I could, I got on my feet again!

GOD also gave me a very good inheritance, I probably would of been OK, except I gave most of it to people whom I was trying to help... they said they would pay me back. HA. Only 1 person ever did. Even 2 of my closest friends ripped me off... we are not so close any more.

I don't know if GOD wanted me to be selfish... but it seems to me that I was trying to be helpful, it was on them to rip me off. And there was no legal paperwork, so I couldn't really take them to court without looking stupid.

But then, I know that GOD always has a reason for everything...

Lesson learned.

But to be honest... I would probably do it all the same way over again.

I remember thinking, when I woke up one night, I knew that it would be harder to live with myself if I had not helped them when I could. I just thought it would be OK, that they would have my back... but then... no... they stabbed me in the back while smiling to my face.

I am prepared to live in poverty the rest of my life. I am safe and I have grand children who LOVE me very much! But I always dream of selling my book and going on book tours and being able to have that peace of mind, knowing I have money if I need it. Today I can only pay a portion of my taxes. For the very first time, ever :(

I have to tell ya, I am in a pickle... and its my own fault. I spent the last of my credit for a lawyer for my daughter, in regards to the CPS case. And I spent the tax money that I had on the lawyers...

I don't know, why is it... when I try to do good...

I remember when I kept asking GOD about why did I have to suffer the 10 years of marriage... it took years for the answer... 'for my son!' So, I know it may take awhile to figure out why I must live in poverty, at the very least, its a part of my learning experience about people.

I do praise GOD that I do have a couple of angels around... they're not handing me any money, but they do make my life better in ways that money can't buy.

So, my daughter is 25 this year... and still lives at home. I love her so much and I hate it when we fight about money. And here's the problem. Houston CPS policy is corrupt. They took a slightly lazy but productive pot smoker... and got her off the pot... but now have her on so many LEGAL prescription pills... so now she is a totally useless 'legal pill popper' and is so whacked out she barely makes it to the kitchen to eat... sometimes I have to take her food! I am so mad about this... because being on those damn pills makes her unable to get up and do stuff. I am so angry it is seething deeply in my soul... and as soon as I can find a good lawyer who will work with my poverty level... I am going to force them to change their policy! I cant believe it... the marijuana laws are changing across the nation and yet, CPS is allowed to come into my home and rip my family apart like the gestapo... it is shocking to me that they took away my 2 precious grand sons because their mother smoked some pot... and placed them with a 2 time drug felon and a heroin addict! Now their dad is not letting her see them... and has taken the boys and moved... I haven't seen my grand children in OVER a year...

I woke up a few days ago from a surreal dream... I always try to forget them... but this one wont go away... so I come in here and get it out this way. At the beginning, I was frantically packing a few things... while hearing the bombs and guns going off outside... while looking around at all the stuff I was going to have to leave behind, it not only stressed me out, it broke my heart! I was afraid and afraid for the children... suddenly I was in the air... with a GODS eye view, and saw a long long road in the desert... people trying to escape... but along the road, people were in planes and automobiles... and they were being blown up... I could see the remnants all along the road traveled. And GOD said, "Look see... I am not doing this... PEOPLE are doing it to PEOPLE."

GOD says, LOVE, CARE... Bless... HELP others... GOD does NOT say "Go kill them that do not believe..." GOD is the GOD of the LIVING... not of the dead.

GOD celebrates life! Not death.

So maybe I don't have it as bad as some who cannot live in peace because of other PEOPLE who are corrupt and murder and steal for the almighty dollar. I am happy and content in the suburbs, caring for the children... and our children are truly blessed to have good people around them!

Yesterday at the school when I was waiting in line to pick up the children... I was pretty close to the front because I love to get there early and spend that hour in prayer or reading... and also the kids don't have to wait so long... when the time came close for the children to come out... the car that I was driving wouldn't start, (technically its not my car, but my son gave it to me to drive and he and his wife keep up on it) Oh wow... I did panic! Thank GOD my son had also equipped me with a cell phone to call him with my trouble... but he didn't answer his phone... so I called his wife... the mother of my grandchildren... she was able to come and get the kids!

As for me at that moment... I had no power from the car... I could not roll down the window... I had to open my door and wave the line to pass me up. And the way it was... it created a traffic jam... I was so embarrassed... and bless GOD there are some really wonderful GODLY people at my grand childrens school... I take both my sons and my daughters children... and the one lady, who calls for the children when their cars pull up, called for some of the teachers to come help me... it was 1 man and 2 women teachers who came and helped me... we realized it was the battery and they all pushed me into the parking lot... whew... I was so relieved to see my daughter in law... but she was barefoot! Oh yes... and to make matters worse... it was cold and rainy... and there she was... she had parked around the corner and walked to get me, instead of waiting in that long line... and also she had to have the tags to get the kids... I was actually laughing as we both walked back to her van... she barefoot and me in flip flops and the rain was so cold I was just not prepared for it and she had rushed so fast she didn't take time to put on shoes... HAHAHA... I am still laughing but at the time I was not... I was actually pulling my hair out!

I am so thankful that there are such good people working at the school... as they could of ignored me, or called a tow truck. But they didn't... they came out to HELP!

You see that is what GOD calls for us to do... LOVE and CARE and HELP others... Remember what Jesus said? "Whatsoever you do unto them, you do unto me." So they were my angels... humans who cared enough to get out in the rain to help another human! GOD will bless them, I know!

GOD bless the ones who have their own problems to come out and help other people!

It reminds me of a special online friend and Soul Sista and her man... they live in NYC and a couple years ago during a terrible storm, they went outside to help clear the debris from the street drains... now technically that is the job of the city workers... but you know they were so very busy... and these two... went out and did this... not for another person... but for their city! For their HOME... they cared! They didn't sit in the house and call the city and complain... they rolled up their sleeves and got out there in the terrible storm and did all they could to HELP!

I am so very happy these people are MY friends... I love them so much... PRAISE GOD they are in my life! Its like I have a Sista in my pocket that goes everywhere with me... I just pull out my phone and text her and she is there... and if she is busy and cannot answer just then, I know she will be there in a bit... I just sit tight and know she will get back with me! Isn't that crazy when strangers who are brothers and sisters in Christ are close, like FAMILY!

And we are... a FAMILY of GOD!

Jesus is our older brother and teaches us the way we should be!

Discover Jesus! Start with Matthew, Mark, Luke and John... the ones who knew him best tells us the most about him!

And we too, can be Christ like!

Today I am feeling THANKFUL... I am thankful for all those who choose to LOVE and CARE and HELP others... because what we do unto others... its doing it unto Jesus!

Praise GOD! And Thank You Jesus!

HUGS4U ALL! :)