The State Of Mine

As I sit back and take a look at the way the world is working... I can see where things have gone wrong. Sorta like the paperwork that we had to do... went through 4 procedures whereas, the conclusion should of  been done right the first time. What a waste... not just of the State of Texas time and paperwork, but also of my time and paperwork too. I cannot believe it takes them 5 steps to do one simple thing!

I have been struggling to keep the state of Texas informed of my problems... and I sure don't see any man in a white hat coming to FIX THINGS... no... cause what I say is nothing to them. Well, that is their prerogative to ignore me. But, here I am... talking about it because it really hurts my feelings!

Its all so wrong. People have become as corrupt as the machines that they serve.

What to do? Keep believing that GOD will have HIS perfect purpose!

Oh I don't hold it against anyone personally... and I am not holding my breath for any help from anyone who might have an inkling of thought to my personal welfare. They do not care about me.

Oh well... GOD does. And all the times I have been... so wronged. Let me say this... I have LOST over a hundred grand from PEOPLE who have promised to pay me back. I have probably lost millions from people who lied to me and told me they were going to help me! And I have paid thousands in taxes... keeping up with that, has been a struggle... and all I can think about is... if PEOPLE would help me like I have always been there to help them :(

Now I am down to my last few dollars and who is there for me? No one.

I have said for the past several years I would never take in any more people. Not even kids. I told myself that if any more kids come in here, they are going to be paying me rent for a room!

And look, I don't even keep my word either. His father died years ago and his mom has a new man and she and he... well, they lost the house and this kid was literally living on the streets.

I tell you, there was just no thinking about it. I just instinctively took him in and I now call him my adopted son. I doubt it will ever end for me. And maybe one day... when my Grand children grow up... I will rent out a room or 2 for a couple serious students... I like students! This kid became one... And he will graduate and it will be a life change for him. His big chance... and I am so happy that I am able to help him along the way!

GOD has blessed me in so many ways...

Man has not ever been good to me. I would love to meet some people who genuinely cared enough to help make a difference. Like the legal team who hears from me every week. lol... well... I think I have resolved that situation... and not ME... but through my letters have prompted them to do the right thing!

And that's not all the problems solved, but it is a single step in the right direction... and I will keep on keeping on until I die. Which BTW, I am prepared for at a moments notice... I did manage to get my funeral paid for, even if I didn't/don't get the health care that I need... at least my death will be in peace, knowing I did the best I could. Helped to promote LOVE among the people... as I have loved them deeply.

Ya know... that's what its all about... the LOVE... we give LOVE freely... and people are loved completely... not just half way. I see this is the problem with the kids that have gone bad... they weren't loved enough. Its not all about loving ourselves... that is hidden arrogance... but to love our brother more than our self... to care more for others than ourselves puts us in the proper perspective. If I am loving you... and you are loving me... what more is there? No secrets... or hidden agendas... no corruption with hateful actions. Nothing to bring people down. Always help to lift and build other people up.

And see, these are still my words... after all the abuse and neglect and stabs in the back that I have suffered... Suffered at the hands of others who were supposed to love me... so being the strong woman that GOD has made me to be... I continue on... even tho I have begged GOD to take me home... I am willing to still suffer for the advancement of others... seems sorta ironic to me. But life seems ironic at most times. And my time will come when GOD chooses... not before.

I do feel good about my expansion... it is world wide. I am touched by the people who connect with me. And I don't even care about the people who give me hassles... the more they try to tear me down the stronger I feel. The words are like dancing and twirling and giving us such a dazzle... 

Isn't it ironic that when I was such a young child of oh, 6 or 7... I was walking to my Great Aunts house... there was a girl on one of the corners that I knew from school... I don't know why she asked me to fight... but she wanted to... and I just stood there looking at her. She says... "Put up your dukes." I say... in a very calm manner.. "Oh, I don't fight with my fists... I fight with words, you stupid fucking bitch." Oh yeah... that's what I said... lol... and my words moved her to silence... and I walked away in peace... on to my Great Aunts house. Playing their game is a thrilling exercise... don't you think?

How did I know I would grow up to use THE WORD... or words... to fight my battles!

I thank GOD for all my blessings... I am humble and grateful for all blessings from GOD! :)

I think what I am most thankful for... is the fact that sometimes... its the words that 'win the war'... not the might.   There are so many more things to look forward to if we just stay focused.

I see a brightness that is incomparable to anything under the SUN...

I see a brilliance in man that will win the hearts of millions... and billions as time goes by.

And its all about the message of Jesus... the beaten, broken carpenter turned Holy Man...

Lets continue HIS message...

LOVE ONE ANOTHER

DO GOOD TO ONE ANOTHER

BEAR ONE ANOTHERS BURDENS

And may GOD save the earth through the POWER OF LOVE!