Learning The Lesson

 I don't have a good report today. I have been so sad. Depressed even. Because I really wanted to believe that goodness is dominant in people who profess to know GOD.

But I guess we can call them pretenders.

So, the man who was here on parole who was, I thought to be a blessing. Turned out to be a liar and a thief. Someone who I thought would be so close to me as to be a help in GODS service!

He was the one who started calling me MotherPope when I married his dad. Mr. Pope.

I honestly thought life would be better for having another who could 'preach it' so well.

Add to that, I feel like the Lord wants me to help others. 

At first it was pretty good. Until I discovered that he was using meth. And then he lost his job. And then unknowing to me was also selling meth. As time went on... I noticed he was not complying with his parole and me being his 'sponsor' they called me. When I confronted him, he just said he already took care of it. But it got worse, he started arguing with me and running me down... "You don't know." was all I heard. I kept praying and questioning GOD, but I also kept caring and trying to help. 

He started bringing in all sorts of people... different women... even after I told him we would rather him not bring people in the house. He didn't care, he would bring them in, and they would sleep on an air mattress all day and be up all night making huge messes in the kitchen. I was really upset at this point. But all I could do was hope and pray for him to get his snap and follow Jesus.

Other people in the house were asking me WTH?

I became confused. And we know GOD is not the author of confusion, so there's that!

I still didn't want to believe he was serving the evil... and I just kept praying to GOD for help. And then one day he handed me the phone, it was his wife... (whose living with another man)... but I am supposing she felt the same as I did... wanting to believe. And yes, he was married and had 2 beautiful little kids! You see it was supposed to be about them... I was told at the beginning that he wanted to get an apartment for his family! But months passed and there was nothing but BS. And more lies.

So, he had handed me the phone and his wife asked if 'dad' could babysit the kids here for a day or so. Ohhh, YES! I said, thinking that it would get him to do better. But the next morning another adult in the house knocked on my door very early. She explained to me that the kids were running around, and she couldn't get their dad up. She said he kept yelling at her. WHA??? So, I go in there and knock on the door and told him his kids were up and he needed to get up. OMG, he yelled at me too! He said to leave him alone! And the more I said that the kids needed him the madder he got. So, I did sit up with them for a couple hours. Until we had to take a roommate to the Dr's office. So, I told him again, we had to go to the Dr's office, and he needed to get up with the kids. 

Two hours later we came back he was still sleeping in the bed! And you know I am telling him that he loves his sleep more than he loves his kids! I said that because that used to be me. My mother would make us leave the 1 room apartment at 5am and she would sleep. This had a serious effect on us as bad people tried to get close to us in that park.  All this pain came rushing back to my mind and I felt the hurt all over again... and that pushed me over the edge... I went off on him... brought up the awful truth and even what I had learned about the meth... and he didn't like it... he actually got in my face and screamed at me "FUCK YOU" and said 'that it wasn't any of my business'... Oh? whose house are we in buddy?  

It was then that 2 other people in the house told him he needs to leave. 

I called the mother and told her what happened... she was so upset and asked if they were OK for the day... I said YES and I did sit with them for several hours while their dad went back to sleep. When they went to sleep that eve, I texted the mother said I was going to bed. She came and got the kids... who by the way are awesome kids! The 5-year-old girl knew to just shut the door and let him sleep! Which made me cry that she even knew to do that! 

After that night when I woke up, he had the same woman in there that he had just argued with 2 days earlier... it was something about him using her car to buy and sell meth. He told me all this stuff! I am not making this up! He tried to come and talk to me, but I was so broken at that point he was a 'trigger' and I couldn't even look at him. I told him it was too late. At this point I had talked to my daughter in law and found out it was this man who got my son on meth... this was a battle! I had prayed and cried and prayed and cried... always told my son how important he was to me... at that time I didn't know who had got him on it. (he's off now). 

But at this point all I could do was sit in my bedside chair and cry. 

Other people in the house don't like it when I just sit in that chair and cry.

But I wasn't just crying... I was praying... asking GOD "WHY"???

And then I heard GOD... "I can't judge him unless he does the actions."

What?? Because in all my muddled mind... it suddenly became clear to me. 

GOD knew that I would survive it... and so allowed the evil to be done here because it had to be, so that GOD can create the consequences, to be able to SEE the actions enabled the judgement.

Now this may sound logical to you, a very simple thing.

But for me I was blinded to the evil. At first! 

I am just grateful its over!

Ohhh... when he packed up and left, he took a stereo that I bought in 1976 from my 1st job! He told my roommate that I told him to throw it away! She tried to talk to him, but she knows he lied. Because she has known me since 1972 and knew that was my 'precious memory stereo'... when I discovered he had taken it, I text him to bring it back, he argued. He said that it was trash that he got it working! Lie! All it needed was a wire connected to the speaker. Nothing wrong with that stereo.

Looking back on it now...  

Would I try to help another person?

My answer would be YES... just as the devil is involved in this world... Ya never know when you will entertain an angel! And being the positive person I am, I know The Lord IS WITH ME!

Whom should I fear?

The bad day was December the 10th. I am feeling better.

I just pray that GOD allows me to continue as HIS servant...

GOD Bless US, Everyone! 

IJCNA