Anxiety and Depression
Anxiety and Depression
My first anxiety attack was in my teens, I am thinking around 15. I was so scared I thought I was dying. I wasn't doing anything except reading a book. I had moved back to my Grandparents house and I was feeling safe and comfortable. I was reading and all of a sudden my heart started pounding and my body breaking out in a sweat, I could barely breath. I jumped out of the bed and went into the hallway. I was leaning up against the wall clutching my chest. My Grandmother must of noticed. She came to me and asked what was wrong? I told her I couldn't breath and my heart was beating so hard and fast. My Grandfather came close and asked if I wanted to go to the hospital. "Yes." I said with tears in my eyes.
When I got to the hospital I cant even remember all the tests they did. But I remember it was anxiety. I was told that it was stress related. I had just come back to my Grandparents from my mothers in Minnesota. Where I was living with her and my evil stepfather. I did suffer from severe anxiety attacks and was at a loss as to how to handle them. As these attacks continued I was so afraid, it always felt like I was dying. Also in my late 20's I was diagnosed as clinically depressed. To the point that I tried to kill myself 3 times. The last time, my Grandmother took me to a Therapist.
My doctor, (whom I had gone to since I was 9 years old) started me on Valiums. They sure did work. But they kept me in the bed most of the time and I had things I needed to do. Oh, I was better and all. But I didn't like the fact that the pills controlled my life. Over the years we tried different pills. Prozac, Xanax, Buspar, a couple others I don't remember. However Buspar was the last pills I took. I went to my Doctor and told him that I didn't want to have to live my life on pills. I had things I needed to do. I couldn't waste my life laying around relaxing. I wanted off the pills and I wanted to learn how to handle this illness on my own. With my own mind control. So he told me a few things I could try. I learned relaxation techniques, concentrating on each individual muscle groups. Learning to actually relax and calm them down. I use this trick, even to this day. Last time I went in to donate blood the woman taking my blood pressure asked me if I had ever been told I had an irregular heart beat. I knew what had happened, "I did that." I said. She looked at me... "You did it?" she asked... "Yes, I know how to calm myself down, I learned it to handle anxiety attacks." Wow, I think she was surprised.
It isn't hard to do. You close your eyes and you can start from the bottom or the top... I prefer starting with my feet... you think about your feet... you feel them... you concentrate on them alone... and relax them. Moving up you think about your legs... Concentrate on them. Feel them relaxing. Breath deep. Up to your pelvis... Feel the tension leave your lower abdomen as you relax all the muscles there. Breath deep... Now your chest... Feel it relaxing, breath deep and release the tension as you exhale... Your arms, feel them relax... Deep breathing and let the tightness dissolve away. Breath in the relaxation, breath out the stress. Totally let your body go limp like a ragdoll. Relax... Breath deep. This works really great if you can catch your attack at the beginning. Over time, you get better at this. And soon, after a few weeks of practice, this will become a habit that you will use to win the battle over the anxiety attacks.
The depression was a little harder to fix. The day I decided to go to the Doctor for depression was a day I had pulled up into a parking lot and was fixing to get out of my car... I saw something that made me burst into tears right there in front of people. It was a family. A father and a mother and two little children all walking in a row like ducks. And they were all dressed alike. This was a trigger for me because that was something I never had in my life. My life had been filled with violence and pain and I longed to have a family like the one in that parking lot that day. I was depressed for many years before I got help. But over the years I have learned to fight it also. The answer is actually very easy. First you look within yourself. What is it that's bothering you? It could be something that stems from years ago that you have hidden away deep inside yourself. These are called unresolved issues. Explore these painful thoughts. Face them straight on. If you can fix them, find a solution that will make you happy. If you can't fix them find a way that you can accept them as part of a learning experience. Some things in life you just can't change. You just have to learn to get over them and get on with it. And the way I have found to get over them is to 'Count my blessings'... I started with a list. We all have different things to be thankful for. List them, one by one. After a few days you should have a long list. And please include the natural blessings in life. Like the sunshine on your face... The ocean washing over you. Being able to play Frisbee with the dog. So many people take these natural blessings for granted and they don't see them as actual blessings. For me, I even count the ability to sit on the picnic table in the backyard and gaze at the moon... And being able to go out there and pick figs off my figtree and eat them. You see, when you can appreciate the little things, life seems to bring more joy. Now of course anyone can say "I have great kids and a wonderful husband, (cept me, I'm still looking for a wonderful husband) and be sure and add 'good friends'... a roof over your head, food to fill your stomach and keep you warm. There are so many big things to count. Somehow, when you start counting your blessings the depression seems to just disappear. I like to say write them down at first, because that way you will have a nice list you can refer to. Post it on the fridge and add to it when you think of another one.
Now you have to be strong and keep a positive mind. Don't let negativity or negative people bring you down. It is amazing the mind control we actually have, if we just use it. Think positive... Like... "I may not have a lot of money, but all the money in the world can't buy the look of love in my husbands/wife/child's eyes... For true love is priceless. Stop dwelling on the sad parts and concentrate on the things that truly make you happy. Happiness and love cannot be bought or sold, for it is a gift. A gift to be given or received. So many people lose out on this part of life, they think they have to have a better nose or larger breasts they pay a very high price for these vain procedures. Is it because they think they are unlovable any other way? Thats not real love. Real love looks into the hearts and minds. And that nose and those crooked teeth are just another part of you that is precious in the eyes of love.
When you start feeling sad... find reasons to be glad.
When you feel the anxiety coming on, fight back with your mind control.
You have the power to make these changes.
Believe me... if I can do it... so can you.
My first anxiety attack was in my teens, I am thinking around 15. I was so scared I thought I was dying. I wasn't doing anything except reading a book. I had moved back to my Grandparents house and I was feeling safe and comfortable. I was reading and all of a sudden my heart started pounding and my body breaking out in a sweat, I could barely breath. I jumped out of the bed and went into the hallway. I was leaning up against the wall clutching my chest. My Grandmother must of noticed. She came to me and asked what was wrong? I told her I couldn't breath and my heart was beating so hard and fast. My Grandfather came close and asked if I wanted to go to the hospital. "Yes." I said with tears in my eyes.
When I got to the hospital I cant even remember all the tests they did. But I remember it was anxiety. I was told that it was stress related. I had just come back to my Grandparents from my mothers in Minnesota. Where I was living with her and my evil stepfather. I did suffer from severe anxiety attacks and was at a loss as to how to handle them. As these attacks continued I was so afraid, it always felt like I was dying. Also in my late 20's I was diagnosed as clinically depressed. To the point that I tried to kill myself 3 times. The last time, my Grandmother took me to a Therapist.
My doctor, (whom I had gone to since I was 9 years old) started me on Valiums. They sure did work. But they kept me in the bed most of the time and I had things I needed to do. Oh, I was better and all. But I didn't like the fact that the pills controlled my life. Over the years we tried different pills. Prozac, Xanax, Buspar, a couple others I don't remember. However Buspar was the last pills I took. I went to my Doctor and told him that I didn't want to have to live my life on pills. I had things I needed to do. I couldn't waste my life laying around relaxing. I wanted off the pills and I wanted to learn how to handle this illness on my own. With my own mind control. So he told me a few things I could try. I learned relaxation techniques, concentrating on each individual muscle groups. Learning to actually relax and calm them down. I use this trick, even to this day. Last time I went in to donate blood the woman taking my blood pressure asked me if I had ever been told I had an irregular heart beat. I knew what had happened, "I did that." I said. She looked at me... "You did it?" she asked... "Yes, I know how to calm myself down, I learned it to handle anxiety attacks." Wow, I think she was surprised.
It isn't hard to do. You close your eyes and you can start from the bottom or the top... I prefer starting with my feet... you think about your feet... you feel them... you concentrate on them alone... and relax them. Moving up you think about your legs... Concentrate on them. Feel them relaxing. Breath deep. Up to your pelvis... Feel the tension leave your lower abdomen as you relax all the muscles there. Breath deep... Now your chest... Feel it relaxing, breath deep and release the tension as you exhale... Your arms, feel them relax... Deep breathing and let the tightness dissolve away. Breath in the relaxation, breath out the stress. Totally let your body go limp like a ragdoll. Relax... Breath deep. This works really great if you can catch your attack at the beginning. Over time, you get better at this. And soon, after a few weeks of practice, this will become a habit that you will use to win the battle over the anxiety attacks.
The depression was a little harder to fix. The day I decided to go to the Doctor for depression was a day I had pulled up into a parking lot and was fixing to get out of my car... I saw something that made me burst into tears right there in front of people. It was a family. A father and a mother and two little children all walking in a row like ducks. And they were all dressed alike. This was a trigger for me because that was something I never had in my life. My life had been filled with violence and pain and I longed to have a family like the one in that parking lot that day. I was depressed for many years before I got help. But over the years I have learned to fight it also. The answer is actually very easy. First you look within yourself. What is it that's bothering you? It could be something that stems from years ago that you have hidden away deep inside yourself. These are called unresolved issues. Explore these painful thoughts. Face them straight on. If you can fix them, find a solution that will make you happy. If you can't fix them find a way that you can accept them as part of a learning experience. Some things in life you just can't change. You just have to learn to get over them and get on with it. And the way I have found to get over them is to 'Count my blessings'... I started with a list. We all have different things to be thankful for. List them, one by one. After a few days you should have a long list. And please include the natural blessings in life. Like the sunshine on your face... The ocean washing over you. Being able to play Frisbee with the dog. So many people take these natural blessings for granted and they don't see them as actual blessings. For me, I even count the ability to sit on the picnic table in the backyard and gaze at the moon... And being able to go out there and pick figs off my figtree and eat them. You see, when you can appreciate the little things, life seems to bring more joy. Now of course anyone can say "I have great kids and a wonderful husband, (cept me, I'm still looking for a wonderful husband) and be sure and add 'good friends'... a roof over your head, food to fill your stomach and keep you warm. There are so many big things to count. Somehow, when you start counting your blessings the depression seems to just disappear. I like to say write them down at first, because that way you will have a nice list you can refer to. Post it on the fridge and add to it when you think of another one.
Now you have to be strong and keep a positive mind. Don't let negativity or negative people bring you down. It is amazing the mind control we actually have, if we just use it. Think positive... Like... "I may not have a lot of money, but all the money in the world can't buy the look of love in my husbands/wife/child's eyes... For true love is priceless. Stop dwelling on the sad parts and concentrate on the things that truly make you happy. Happiness and love cannot be bought or sold, for it is a gift. A gift to be given or received. So many people lose out on this part of life, they think they have to have a better nose or larger breasts they pay a very high price for these vain procedures. Is it because they think they are unlovable any other way? Thats not real love. Real love looks into the hearts and minds. And that nose and those crooked teeth are just another part of you that is precious in the eyes of love.
When you start feeling sad... find reasons to be glad.
When you feel the anxiety coming on, fight back with your mind control.
You have the power to make these changes.
Believe me... if I can do it... so can you.
posted by MotherPope @ 7:38 PM
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