Living In Poverty

I don't mind really, living in poverty. I don't need much. My son feeds me... to well... I don't smoke or drink... and I am not the type who needs to go have their hair and nails done, I buy my clothes at the Thrift Store on 50 cent day... so I am very low maintenance.

I can hold my own for sure. Just the other day I lanced my own abscess on my tooth! My babies daddy, pulled his own tooth last month... our last years income... $15,000.00! And that was before he paid 5 grand in child support! But its all good...

I do enjoy a safe home... this internet... good friends. I haven't always lived in poverty. I have only known middle class living, my whole life. Always had what I needed and worked hard for it.

I was really happy, even living in poverty... until yesterday... when an old friend called me. We have been very good friends for 24 years. And there she was, crying on the phone saying her daughter in law kicked her out because they had gotten into a fight. WHAT?

Let me go back...  shortly after I inherited money back in 99' ... she had gotten a foreclosure notice on her house. I felt so sad for her and wanted to help. So I slept on it... thought long and hard... wondering what I would feel like not helping vs helping... after all she was a widow...  and I felt like I could help her and still be OK. So I made her an offer. I told her I would pay for the house if she paid me back with monthly payments or gave me the money back if she sold her house. She sure went for it. Her whole family knew! Oh, I was a good friend! Yea for me... right?

It lasted a little over a year... she paid almost every month. Then when her daughter turned 16, the payments went down and then she couldn't pay me anymore. I kept thinking she would when she could... her daughter would get a job and I would get my money back. But that never happened... I never said anything because she was in school and very good at it. And time passed... me... having my own troubles with my daughter... not wanting to go to school... getting pregnant at 14. It was a struggle and I didn't get any help. 2 years of govt buying our food. But none of my friends were there for me... and I continued to struggle alone.

And I continued loving my friend... helping her out when she needed it. Helping everyone out... several friends who stabbed me in the back, borrowing money and then I never hear from them again. I lost over 100 grand helping out other people. And I never thought my long term friends would betray me. But they did :(

I cannot express in words how I am feeling inside.

I sure have learned a valuable lesson!

So what happened was, I lost my families money by trusting my closest friends! Would I do it again? Probably. I would just be a bit more careful! It is GOD in me that dictates my care for others. So I would continue... knowing that in the end, GOD knows the truth!

So... a few months ago she told me that MUD was taking her home... her son and daughter in law and her 2 kids had been living with her all these years and they never paid a dime... she got behind in some payments... and she did that by not opening her important mail.., she would toss it in a pile and take the pills the Dr gave her and she didn't think about it... until they got notice her home had been sold at auction and they had 30 days to get out... I was so sad... nothing I could do anymore, I had given away all my money... so they moved to a hotel. How? I wondered... and then a couple weeks ago she told me her son and daughter in law got another room for them... so they could have privacy... I wondered how they could afford to 'just get another room'... even with them both working it was hard to come up with that sort of money just to have sex. I was a bit peeved to say the least. Wondering how they could afford to get a second car... wondering for weeks how they are surviving... upset that they were spending so much money... that they didn't have.

So, my friend is crying on the phone... her daughter in law got her a room for the night... WHAT? How can they afford that now? Where did her daughter in law get the money to pay for this extra hotel room with a kitchenette... oh... the truth stung right to my heart.

You see... back in 2000 I paid almost 33 grand to save her home... she got it down to about 29 when she stopped paying. And when she got the check from the lawyer, a check that I was told would be about 4 grand... turned out to be 40 grand... and she gave the money to her son... because she didn't have a bank account and she trusted her son... well, his wife has now taken possession over the money... spending it on the extra car and rooms... and I am sure alcohol and drugs... and other things... I am sure they have long spent the 11 grand over the 29 that was owed to me.

So last night... I cried myself to sleep. When I woke up today I cried again... the pain is deep. How could someone so close like a sister do that? If it was me and someone paid off my house and when I got money back, the first thing I would do would be to pay that person back! I even told her she could use one of my accounts that was not being used.

So last night someone said... 'my friend... when she got the check... she didn't let me know'... and she never gave me a dime... was she even going to pay me back? If not... then her daughter in law ripped her off because she was going to rip me off. :(

Sure makes sense doesn't it?

GOD Bless us... everyone... IJCN,A