TO BE THE BEST ME

I always get my best ideas in the shower. I guess this happens for other people too. Seems like I have read it somewhere. Anyways, tonight... it came over me. Sorta like the spirit moved me... nudged me a little.
I was truly inspired.

It happens.

It is true that I can just sit down and write. But when I get that idea popping into my head like a big bright yellow balloon! Going POW! Its always a good thing!

I always get a title, first. Or subject. And I also get the first paragraph and a general idea what the title stands for. Then I sit down and go at it! It helps a lot to have a quiet house. It is very frustrating when you sit down with a great idea and someone is hollering or turning up the music or TV to loud, or maybe the dog will come whine about something!

Hahaha... Oh well, that is the life I choose.

But now I understand more when I see people in the movies, unable to disturb a writer or artist when things are being created.

So, today I want to try to create something I have thought about.

Words that have formed so delicately in the back of my head and which will haunt me until I come and let them out. Its the spirit in me.

Me.

I ask myself the proverbial question. 'WHAT DO YOU WANT PEOPLE TO SAY AT YOUR DEATH' ???

Which in turn, causes me to examine my life with the wondering, of what ARE some of the things about me that people are going to remember?

Is it strange that I care about this? I am not sure why. Some have said, "Don't worry about what people say." But the thing is, my GRANDMOTHER always told me I should ALWAYS care about what people think. And so I do. That doesn't mean I am going to NOT say something I think needs to be said. And in those cases... well... I still worry about what they are gonna say. Cause then I know, if I am going to have to argue about it. And I hate to argue. What a waste of time. Just sit down and state the facts. Its best to do this with a friend or mediator. No insults and no name calling and stick to the issue and get every ones opinion and then decide which is the best!

But I am not here to tell you how not to argue. Unless of course you write to me and ASK. lol... this is only for information about what I want people to think and say about me if I died. An old question, I am sure many have asked themselves. Or had asked of them.

Maybe one of my friends might have this idea in their head, if so, I hope that will happen. But here is me.

I grew up in hell. I have lived there most of my life. My only reprieve was when my Grandparents let me stay with them. It was much better there.

But when you grow up in hell and you see so much evil, that really exists in the world. (And I am serious about this. I have had many who have agreed, HELL IS RIGHT HERE ON EARTH). You either learn to live in hell, or you find a way out. You struggle and you never give up.

You see, this is what I have done. No matter the sorrow, or the pain, or the sadness of the backstabbers who attack on a whim. No mater who hurts you or how much your bleeding inside... you find a way to make it to the next day. Unless you don't, and your probably better off that GOD took you to a better place. In this case, its all good. This does NOT endorse suicide, you cannot be forgiven for suicide. It is not a good thing. You will not go to a happy place that way.

So you smile tho your heart is aching, you smile when your heart is breaking... when there are clouds in the sky, you'll get by... (that is a line from a song called SMILE; written by Charlie Chaplin)

You just keep going, struggle on and do the best you can.

The best you can.

Even Lil' orphan Annie will tell ya, "The sun will come out tomorrow." Always with positive thinking, always knowing 'You simply have to take the good with the bad.' I've heard it said... that, "it doesn't matter what happens to you, its how you deal with it that matters." Don't let these issues get the best of you. We have to, 'Buck up and be strong.' Its OK to whine a little about things that are messed up. But then get through the whine... (or wine, which ever works for you)... and FIX THINGS!

FIX YOU!

Focus on the bad and figure what you need to do to change things. Whatever it is... just do it!

So with all this info locked in my brain, I trudge on. Getting through the hard times. Even tho it seems the world is ready to implode on you.

Just keep being the best you can be. Keep on keepin' on!

Oh, and one of the best things that we can remember is this... Whining and complaining about other people behind their backs is not constructive. Neither is name calling. None of these things will take you to any place that is good. Just sit down with a kind heart and discuss the issues that have you upset. And work it out with as much respect as you can. If nothing comes of it, well, let it go. It will resolve one day, one way or the other.

You see, this is all the things I do for me. To make it through this crazy messed up world! And get through it, we all will!

Things wont be perfect. Never expect perfection. Something could always go wrong. And so sorry to say, a lot of times something does go wrong. But sometimes. I have discovered, that sometimes things go RIGHT!

So when people do think about me. And my kids finally discover the real meaning of, "Their gonna miss me when I'm gone."

I hope that someone will say something like this;

Nancy loved everyone and everyone loved Nancy. Men loved her... not only to gaze into those deep blue eyes, but because of her ability to understand them and sympathize with their troubles. Children loved her not only for her happy face but also for the way she always had of fixing things for them, whether it was a broken toy or a broken heart. Animals loved her because she connected with their little beings with a soft stoke or a friendly game of catch, or with her "animals are important too" attitude. Women loved her because she never judged them, always lifted them to a better train of thought and cared about the way the world treated them.

Maintaining that bright, happy, easy going aura was easy for her because she was genuine in the way she did things. Never a phony or a fake. But someone who always consciencely tried to be the best person she could be. Inside and out. Someone who cared so deeply for Mother Earth that she recycled yogurt containers, tiny spice containers, every aluminum can she could pick up, and every newspaper that came through her house.

She cared. Really cared, about family and friends and even the neighbors and strangers she would meet. And I can't even count how many strays and homeless animals she took in.

She believed in caring to be the best she could be.


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In contemplation of these words here tonight. I just want to say that I want to be a good example to my children and to my children's children. Knowing that it will trickle down the life line. Just as my Grandparents were influenced by their Grandparents, I also have learned some very old tried and true, sage advice for this life. I so want to share it.

If all the people in all the world, really cared.

We could solve a world of problems.

Hate, Revenge, Waste.

Lets all care.

About ourselves and about each other.